Steamy Windows
by mynameislizzie
Summary: Naomi is a player...Emily is unhappily married and likes to, shall we say...watch. Steamy windows are guaranteed Now continued
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys**

**'_Steamy Windows_' test chapter...let me know if its worth continuing!**

Naomi

I hate red wine. Actually that's a flat out, complete and utter lie. I fucking love it. Especially wine like this...a £40 bottle of Château Margeaux which tasted like liquid heaven. I hated the _effect_ red wine has on me. That's it, I remember now. Red wine plus Naomi minus available fanny equals libido hyper-drive. **Thats** why I hate red wine. And don't even get me started on what I'm like on vintage port. Half a bottle of Cockburn's and I am the worlds most liberated lesbian. Up for anything. I could make a sailor blush with my memories of hazily remembered, port induced deviancy. Threesomes, public sex, straight girls, toilet fucks, the lot. That's why I seldom drink red wine and never port, when I'm out alone. Too many wake up calls in strange bedrooms with even stranger partners. I'm convinced one day a naked woman is going to come out of the bathroom one morning, leading an adult chimpanzee called Maude by a neck chain, telling her to "say goodbye to the nice lady" who has entertained her and her friends all night. Like I said, port is a definite no no when I'm flying solo.

But here I am, big fuck off glass of red wine in hand and a half empty bottle of superior claret on the bar in front of me. The reason? One Emily Jane Fitch (OK, I read her name badge yesterday,OK?)

I don't do cheating, and I _definitely_ don't do married women. Girls like Becky the other night are a rare deviation from my no partners rule too. I like them single and available. Most of the time they never get to see the dawn breaking at my flat, let alone another night with me, so it doesn't really matter, but a girl has to have _some_ principles, right?

Sally, the thirty something barmaid who I once fucked senseless against the empties in this very wine bar after hours and after a bottle of the said LBV port, is eyeing me with more than professional interest. She thinks she may get another taste of Campbell, but she's out of luck. She wasn't a bad against the wall, late night fuck, all nervous gasping and swivelling hips, but her partner owns half of this place, and I'm not about to risk mixing it with a 16 stone bull dyke with dubious taste in tattoos, stripy eyebrows and dungarees. Not tonight. Probably never again.

Because I have my eye on a much less chancy victim. She came in an hour ago with a 'friend'. The sort of friend who is obviously straight, and just here for the experience. It's a gay bar. Not an over the top, brogues and strap on type of bar, but subtle and known to just a few discerning clientèle. I discovered it by accident, meeting a friend after work, and I've been using it as my local for a while now. No bitch fights, and precious little overt making out in public. Just subtle pick ups and whispered promises. My sort of place.

The chosen victim tonight then... About 5 foot 2 (similar to Emily) slim (similar to Emily, and with deep red hair (sort of like Emily, but this girls was natural, maybe auburn rather than red?) OK, you got me, she had a face which could pass for Emily Fitch in subdued light, and although her tits were tiny compared to the nice pair I had observed the other night watching my married neighbour change in the bedroom opposite, they would certainly do the job tonight.

So, her 'friend' was scoping the place out, hoping against hope that a stray guy would be there to relieve the tedium, whilst dinky tits was giving me the definite come on. Just the odd look at first. Then some hair twirling. After a few glasses of white wine, she was flat out ignoring her bored friend and staring at me openly. What's a girl to do? I needed distraction from images of cute redheads with killer smiles. I could do worse on a wet Monday night. I needed some excitement. Sliding off my bar stool, I walked over and gave her the thousand watt Campbell smile.

"Buy you a drink, gorgeous?" I said, flicking a disinterested eye over her friend as I did. The friend looked at me as if I had volunteered to give her Chlamydia, so I ignored her some more.

"Yeah...sure, I'd like that" The pretty redhead smiled.

Half an hour, and two balloon glasses of port later (Yeah, I know, I fucking **know**, already) we were leaving, under the scrutiny of her friend and my now, not so friendly host. Fuck 'em, I though brightly. Tonight just got interesting.

We stumbled into my apartment, and I flicked a switch by the door which illuminated the lounge just by the table lamps near the window. One each side of the big picture window facing my Nemesis's flat. I blame the port. It does it every time. The girl, whose name, apparently, was Jessica,, had kissed me a couple of times on the way back, and I was starting to enjoy her eagerness. Unlike Becky, this one was a bit more experienced, although probably about the same age as her. She looked a lot younger, with her cute button nose and schoolgirl giggles. I moved her over to the big lounge window and stood behind her. Pulling her long red hair back off her neck, I gave her a slow kiss on the soft skin under her ear. She shivered and pushed back at me appreciatively, humming her delight.

I started to unbutton her high necked shirt, but her hand came up to stop me, even as her hips pushed back into my crotch.

"N...no..." she murmured, smirking "Someone might... **see**"

Thats the fucking point, I thought. Someone I know, hopefully...

"Don't worry honey" I lied "Its late. In any case, no ones in opposite. They've gone to Paris for the week. As for the rest of the world...its just fields and trees out there. Nothing to worry about"

She purred and let me continue with my unbuttoning. Soon the front of her top was wide open, no bra then... and I could see over her shoulder the small conical breasts and long nipples, the latter stiffening as I tweaked them with my fingers. She trembled and pressed back against me harder.

"Are you going to... corrupt me... Naomi" she grinned, as I pulled her shirt free of the short black skirt.

"I think it might be a bit late for that Jessica" I grinned "Someone got there first, I think"

She giggled dirtily,and made no move to stop me as I searched for the side zip to her skirt. Finding it, I slowly slid it down, allowing the material to drop to the floor at her feet.

Fuck me, I thought. It's definitely my night. Instead of the black tights I though she had been wearing, I saw black silk hold ups with lace edging, and the tiniest pair of black lace matching knickers. Naughty girl, I smirked to myself. Someone was _very_ sure of themselves, getting dressed to go out tonight.

I stole a look out of the dark window into the night, and froze...

There _was_ someone in Emily's bedroom. It was velvety black in the room, but in the dim reflected light from the twin table lamps each side of my window, I saw the faintest glint of something shiny. As I caressed and fondled Jessica's slim and smooth upper body, I caught the movement again. For a couple of seconds, as I was distracted by the girl moving her hand behind her, between our bodies and cupping my sex, I lost sight of the movement opposite. But there it was again. Something slim, and shiny and...oh fuck, I **know** what it is. A sudden memory of a delicate gold chain around a certain redheads neck this morning at the studio. She was fucking _watching_ me..._again_.

I could blame the port again, but to be honest it was more like sheer devilment. I wanted her to see. I wanted her to want me. I knew I couldn't have her, she was married, and straight. But she obviously wanted to see what I was doing, and in my alcohol fuelled state, I wasn't about to stop her looking. I dipped my hand inside those tiny black knickers from the front and heard Jessica groan helplessly as I slid a slow enquiring finger into that hot wetness. She was ridiculously slick and open for me. I teased her small clit until it came out from its little hood and pulsed under my careful and expert teasing. She began to rotate her hips as I stroked her, I sucked hard on her neck and she writhed harder, reaching back and cupping me between my legs. Fuck, I needed to get screwed...like right now.

I caught one last brief movement of the persons outline opposite, before lust overtook me. I needed this girl in my bed. Naked. This minute.

She was as much fun naked as she was clothed. She knew what she wanted, and she knew I could give it to her. When we reached the bedroom, she dropped the knickers to the floor, and made to take off the stockings.

"Leave them " I growled.

She laid back on the bed, head on the pillows and opened her legs slowly..

"I believe you promised me a good fucking" she purred, so I stripped myself as she watched, her fingers stroking where mine had recently been busy. God she was sexy. She wasn't Emily, but she was here, and willing and...well you get the picture.

Half an hour later, I knelt up from my position between her legs. She had come beautifully and noisily as I licked her thoroughly until she was begging for release, Then my fingers had joined my tongue deep inside her. A minute or so of fast lapping accompanied by straight fingered thrusts and she lost it. Job done.

I looked down at her, the thin film of sweat on her body testament to my efforts. She gazed back at me and smiled happily...

"That was _so_ much fun" she giggled "But I think you need something from me now Naomi, huh?"

She was fucking right about that. My cunt was burning with impatience, and I needed that clever tongue where it could do some good. Inside me.

"Come here" she motioned with her hand, then pulled me up until my thighs were either side of her tousled head, my hot and wet sex inches from her mouth. Oh God, I thought, she fucking likes _this_ position? It must be Christmas _and_ my birthday. Her slim fingers pulled me closer, until I could feel her hot breath on me.

"Fuck me" I said simply. So she did. Fingers, tongue and lips. Expertly and efficiently. This girl had more experience than anyone her age deserved to have. At the end, when I was bucking against her hot mouth, begging her to go faster, deeper, she pushed a sly and wet little finger into a place I had never had penetrated before. I don't know if I want to make a habit of it, but just at that moment it made me come like the fucking Shuttle on take-off...Someone had been taught some serious moves as a girl...

Another 15 minutes later, and we were side by side, just enjoying a post coital doze. I normally bounced my random shags out of the door about ten minutes after we had both got off, but I had the feeling this one was worth a second go. I wasn't wrong.

"Got any... toys Naomi?" she said slyly, and I turned my head and grinned back at her.

"Well, my ex bought me something for my birthday last year, but its still in the wardrobe. Never been used "

She turned her head to me again and grinned archly

"Bout time it got some action?" she chuckled, lifting an eyebrow comically.

I nearly broke my legs stumbling to the wardrobe, searching in the bottom until I found the plastic wrapped package..

Jessica looked at me with eyes like hot coals as I slowly and clumsily put the thing on.

"You're not going to put that big, hard thing inside _me_ are you Miss?" she said mock nervously, acting the innocent schoolgirl perfectly.

I smirked back at her as I climbed onto the bed and parted her thighs obscenely wide in readiness.

"Oh yes" I breathed "You've been a very, very naughty student Jessica. Time to take your medicine, like a _good_ girl"

The sound she made when I slid the thick rubber cock into her was unlike anything I had heard from a woman before. _Someone's_ fantasies are being realised tonight, I thought, as she arched up at me and dug her fingernails into my thighs. I fucked her slowly and deliberately, ignoring her excited pleas for me to go faster and deeper. I'd never used one of these on anyone before, but I could sort of see the attraction now. She was really into it, writhing, bucking and gasping as I drove in and out of her, maddeningly slowly.

It took her less than two minutes to come like that, but I wasn't finished with her. I turned us so that she was sitting on top of me. I could feel her pushing down onto the fake cock frantically, trying to get even more inches inside her. I pulled at her long nipples with my nails, and she threw her head back and shrieked her enjoyment to my bedroom ceiling as she spasmed again. Jesus, that girl liked to fuck.

Better than that, she wasn't clingy or maudlin afterwards. When she had expertly fingered me to another shuddering orgasm, she got out of bed, dressed quickly and dragged slim fingers through her bed hair as I stared up at her with eyes now heavy with exhaustion.

"I'll see myself out Naomi" she said quietly as I watched her picking up her purse from the floor. "It was fun...maybe we could do it again sometime?"

She arched that eyebrow again, and I laughed.

"Sure" I said "See you around sometime Jess"

And she left. The end of a perfect evening.

XXX

Next morning at 10, I opened my eyes and cursed the fucking Pink track that was currently battering my ears, I'd slept right through the Bach intro again. I dragged myself into the bathroom, making the usual promises about red wine and port I would break all over again soon enough. Ten minutes under the hot shower, my favourite Guns and Roses oversized tee on, and I felt human again. I switched on the percolator, and opened the lid of my laptop...

_Tap tap tap..._

Who the fuck was that, at this time of the morning, I grumbled to myself, padding barefoot to the door. If it was that fuckwit from number 27 losing his key again I would give him the hair-dryer treatment for sure...

"Hi Naomi" my visitor smiled..."You mentioned coming round for coffee...?"

Well fuck me sideways... Emily Fitch...

**Well? Worth persevering with?**


	2. Chapter 2

**OK. Thanks a lot guys. The feedback was awesome, and I think its worth trying to develop what FaithSky and I started. Hopefully she'll be better soon, and we'll see more incredible stuff from her like 'Sweet Disposition' etc. Anyway, this next bit is from Emily's pov and gives a bit of back story...as well as a fair bit of lezzer longing! And as always, there is a smut warning. Not that you seem to care!**

**I don't own Skins. But then, after Fire, who want's to?**

**Emily**

How I raised the courage to knock on Naomi's door this morning is completely beyond me. After what I saw last night through my bedroom window, I'm faintly surprised I can still walk unaided. Thank God she couldn't see me. I made sure the hall light was off, and the room was totally dark. With Jason out playing squash with Freddie, I knew I had the place to myself till midnight at least. Playing squash is a fucking euphemism for knocking a tiny rubber ball about for 15 minutes, followed by a huge vindaloo curry and umpteen pints of strong lager. He'll be home late, pissed and garlic smelly, fit for nothing more than collapsing on the couch with the remote control in his hand, dribbling down his shirt. Yuk. At least that meant I got to sleep alone in the king size bed he insisted on buying with the money my mother gave us when we announced our wedding date.

And being alone in our bed, with lurid memories of Naomi fondling that girl before taking her off to bed, was something I definitely enjoyed. Although, I always ended up feeling guilty, like I was cheating on my husband, it didn't stop me...err...touching myself over and over again.

This was the pattern of my pathetic life nowadays. I'm reduced to masturbating over my lesbian neighbour. I'd never stood up to my sister or my mother when I was younger. All that adolescent yearning over girls was kept firmly under the Fitch family radar. With Katie being such a slut with boys, and my mother being slightly to the right of Genghis Khan with her political and sexual views, I never stood much of a chance really. One memorable finger fuck against the back wall of the gym after a school party with the uber sophisticated Effy Stonem couldn't rescue me from what my mother and sister had decided would be my pre-defined future as a dutiful wife and mother Well, at least I'd avoided the second bit...so far, thank God. Hooray for contraception.

So I agreed reluctantly when Katie set me up on a blind date with Jason all those years ago. He was pleasant, back then at least. He didn't try to grab my tits right after "hello" like most of the teenage boys did on the rare occasions I agreed to a night out. He didn't even try to kiss me for three weeks, until Katie noticed his lack of...ardour...and insisted we snog for 'at least two minutes' in front of her and her amused date. Eight months later, he proposed, and I accepted. We were married 18 months after that. Idiot that I was.

First and only boyfriend, now husband. Luckily for me, his interest in me sexually has never been that strong. We had a couple of unsatisfactory missionary shags on honeymoon, but since then he prefers to have me get him off in... other ways... as it were. Once a month, usually on payday, he gets me to cook him his favourite meal...spaghetti bolognese, with extra garlic and onions, washed down with 4 cans of Stella, which is never entirely masked by his toothpaste when we go to bed. I spend way too much time in the bathroom, finding reasons to put off the inevitable, until he impatiently calls out for me. He's always in the same position. Stark naked, propped up on pillows with that ridiculous little erection swaying about, and a soppy grin on his face. I get the 'pleasure' of giving him a fifteen minute blow job. He likes me to take my time, worse luck. Don't know why the fuck that is, he never looks at me or touches me while I'm working on him. He comes eventually,, which is an experience I could happily wait a thousand years to repeat,, I run for the bathroom, usually gagging, and after copious amounts of strong mouthwash gargling and some vigorous teeth brushing I come back into the bedroom, he's normally snoring already and I get to sleep next to him and his delightful garlic breath all night. On the rare occasions we actually have penetrative sex, its always with me on hands and knees facing away from him. Just a handy receptacle really. I do draw the line at his demands for...other access... areas..which used to piss him off mightily, but fuck that for a game of soldiers, having tried it once, and then not being able to sit comfortably for an entire week was enough to put me off for life.

But enough about my sad and infrequent sex life. Its bad enough one tantalizing glimpse of my sexy lesbian neighbour without her top on got me more excited than a whole year of shagging with my husband, but since Naomi appeared on my mums lamo radio talk show, well, thats not true, _before_ she appeared on my mums lamo talk show and actually talked to me, I've become some sort of addicted, twisted voyeur, making excuses to see her, naked or clothed, it doesn't matter now, Except thats not true either...watching her make out with that girl last night, that very...Emily like... girl last night, put me through more mixed emotions than I thought I possessed. Lust, fear, jealousy, desire...you name it.

I loved that she was putting on a show for me...after all, she knew I watched her obsessively, especially after she fucking winked at me when I caught her topless that morning. But I hated with a deep dark green streak the fact that it was someone else's breasts she was touching, someone else's neck she was kissing...and after she pulled the girl away from the window...someone else's naked body she was enjoying, Honestly? I would have killed to be that girl last night. After they left me standing there, tingling from head to foot, I stood there stupidly, knowing exactly what they were now doing on Naomi's bed...and knowing I would be using my own fingers to drag some sort of lonely closure from it within minutes. When I came... It was the most shattering orgasm I had ever had in my life. But afterwards..? Afterward, I cried a few bitter tears. Tears for me. For my shattered dreams, my failed marriage and my endless denial of who I really am. Sad fuck, ain't I?

So here I was. Outside the door of the woman who occupied virtually every waking minute. Naomi Campbell. Lesbian, raconteur, professional blogger, and holder of all my secrets, although she doesn't know anything about it..until tonight perhaps?

"Err...come in Emily" she said, running a hand through her tousled blonde hair. My mouth dried up at that. Her faded tee had ridden up, and I caught a tantalizing glimpse of blue stripy girl shorts underneath. I felt my stomach clench. Keep it together, Emily, I told myself. Try not to think of this woman naked...writhing...moaning. FUCK. Stop it...

She caught me checking her out, of course. From the first moment I saw her from my window, I think she saw me. I don't mean visually, but really _SAW_ me. Saw me for what I was underneath. At the studio, when she registered shock at the fact that my mum is this homophobe shock jock, through the unsubtle lesbian flirting and teasing. And last night, even if she didn't actually know I was watching her with that girl...she must have wanted me to at the least... I mean, who fucks someone in front of a window?

But none of that mattered much. Now I was here, in her apartment, smiling politely and taking up her offer of morning coffee. For a moment, I panicked. Maybe it wasn't a genuine offer. I guess some lesbians get off on teasing 'straight' girls? As far as Naomi knew, I was happily married and 100% heterosexual. But then I remembered her wink yesterday, and the way she brushed my arm with her fingertips when she left. The shiver that went through me then must have been all too obvious, wasn't it?

"Just made some coffee as it happens...sit down in the lounge Emily" she smiled warmly, " and I'll bring it through"

I walked into the lounge, which was filled with morning sunshine. My eyes immediately went to the window. _That_ window. I stepped over and looked out. To my right, a row of tall conifers and acres of ploughed fields beyond. To the front, something I was all too familiar with. My own bedroom window. Less than 15 feet across the block. My curtains were open, and I realised with a shock that you could see _everything_ in the room from here. Our double bed, the door to my hall, and even that stupid homoerotic wood carving on the wall above the bed that Jason had insisted on bringing back from Italy last year. I wondered frantically if she had been able to see me watching last night? Surely not? Just then I heard the clink of mugs knocking together as Naomi came in, balancing the cafetiere in one hand and two blue mugs and a sugar bowl in the other. She smiled again as she saw where my eyes had been staring until a second ago.

"Nice..view, huh?" she smirked. Again my stomach...and other places...clenched. Jesus, I thought, not 12 hours ago, she was standing here, fondling that girl openly, while I was hiding opposite, in my hopefully dark enough bedroom, drinking in the erotic scene taking place in front of my hot and eager eyes. _Had_ she seen me? Her amused eyes gave nothing away, but the thought nagged at me as I sat down on the leather couch and accepted a steaming mug of frankly delicious coffee

We stared at each other for a couple of seconds over the rims of our mugs, doing our individual bit of sizing up.

"So Naomi" I said finally " You survived my mothers anti gay grilling pretty well yesterday then?"

She grinned and put down her mug on the glass coffee table top, leaning back with her arms stretched out. I tried hard, but as her tee rode up again, I couldn't stop my treacherous eyes flicking down to get another brief perv at her pretty knickers. Again the grin widened as she caught me out. I reddened yet again, Memo to self, perv less openly in future?

" Bit strange really" she started,

"Strange, how?" I said

" Her being so determinedly anti gay. I mean...its not as if any of us get the choice when we're born, do we Emily...and statistically, with two daughters, she could have ended up with one...lesbian or bi daughter?"

I gulped a mouthful of way too hot coffee, and winced a bit as it burned its way down my throat.

"I suppose you're right." I said eventually. " We do have to live with what we are. But the thought of my sister turning out gay is hysterical. You'd have to know her to get that"

Shit, I virtually owned up to being the more likely candidate then...

She smiled again and raised an amused eyebrow.

"Yeah, but basically, if you're born gay, you can't send it back and ask for a refund, can you? You either accept the difference, and enjoy your life, or you settle for enforced conformity, and suffer for years being something you aren't"

Why did I get the distinct feeling this conversation had turned from abstract to personal in one sentence, I thought.

"Some people suffer... in silence... because it's easier for everyone that way" I said weakly.

Her face got suddenly serious, and she leaned forward, holding my eyes with hers.

"One thing I _have_ learned Emily, in my short but eventful life" she said quietly "is that if you suppress your sexuality, you're suppressing who and what you are. Eventually, it _will_ come out...it just needs a..." She hunted for the word for a second before continuing "trigger"

We looked at each other for a long minute. I think we both understood who was holding the gun here...and it wasn't me. She regarded me a bit longer, Then bit her bottom lip, something which made parts of my anatomy tingle very inappropriately for a coffee morning..

"Are _you_ gay Emily?" she said, in little more than a whisper

"**No**!" I said, far too quickly " I''m... married..very happily actually, I've only ever had boyfriends, never even been out with a girl, let alone had se...I mean, thats not what this is about...I've never..." I tailed off miserably.

I heard her mutter something along the lines of " I think the lady doth protest too much" before coughing politely at my gabbling. She reached across and covered my flapping hand in hers. Her hand was cool, but it set my skin on fire quicker than lighter fuel.

"Emily..._Emily_...?" she said softly " It wasn't an accusation. I get it...you're not gay. Thats cool. You're not gay, and I am. Thats fine. We're just talking here...two friends, having coffee"

I nodded miserably. Of course. Now she thinks I'm straight. For fucks sake, _I_ thought I was straight, until a flash of peroxide and two cerulean eyes woke me from a five year sleep walk. What was I even _doing_ here? I stood up quickly, putting my mug back on the coffee table coaster with trembling fingers.

"Right" I said..." You must be busy, what with the blog and all. Sorry for being a pest. I'll leave you to it, Thanks for the coffee Naomi...I need to get back, things to do...people to see..."

Realizing I was gabbling again I stopped, to see her using those lethal eyes to pin me like a butterfly to a collectors board.

"No problem" she smiled sweetly" You're welcome anytime. It's been good to talk at last. After all, we are neighbours. Drop by any morning, as long as its after 10.. I don't really do early...I tend to stay up late?"

My stomach clenched again as I remembered what, or who had kept her up late last night.

I muttered something neutral and kept my eyes down as I fled, only slightly stumbling on the door mat as I reached the outside door.

"Bye then Emily" Naomi said, following me, still wearing that friendly face which made me feel twice as stupid for running.

"Oh.." she said, as I stepped into the lobby "I'm having a couple of friends over tomorrow night. Just a casual dinner thing. If you and...err ... Jason...want to come over, I'd love to see you both?" Her voice held none of its normal warmth when she said my husbands name. I don't think a joint invitation was really her first choice.

Over my cold dead body, I thought. No doubt Naomi's friends were as out and proud as she was. I could just imagine my husband blurting out to my mum at the first opportunity that his wife...her oh so straight married daughter, now had some lesbian friends. Jason would be too thick to understand the implications, but my mother would be onto it like a ferret with a rabbit. I'd never escape alive. No, I thought, I'll keep this little budding friendship to myself, It's not as if we've done anything wrong, is it. "_No..._" my inner voice said, '_but masturbating over the image of your neighbour screwing some random...a girl you wished you had been there instead of, is definitely NOT high on any list of casual acquaintance protocols, is it Emily?'_

When I got back into my apartment, I was shaking. What was wrong with me? One encounter with this woman had affected me to a ridiculous degree. Yesterday, when she arrived at the radio station, to plug her blog and suffer the verbal barbs my mother aimed at her, I had barely been able to function while she was in the building. And after last night, I _knew_ that _she_ knew I had been watching her. Just that ironic look in her eyes when I blustered about being happily married, and straight, told me that she had seen through my bullshit effortlessly. Who was I kidding? Watching her undress once had made my skin tingle and ruined a perfectly good pair of M & S knickers. Watching her make out with that...cow...last night had lit a fire in me which was still smouldering.

If I didn't have to meet Katie and my darling nephew Josh in under an hour, I knew that I would have stripped off my underwear and given myself another good seeing to as soon as I got home. Meeting Naomi this close...in her apartment, near her bedroom, had made my fantasies spring to life inside my addled head. I wanted her. Not just because she was sexy, and attractive, and everything I wasn't, but there was something in those spectacular eyes which, just for a tiny moment, told me that she might find me attractive too. Me...Emily Fitch...mousy little sister of Katie, obedient wife of Jason, and downtrodden gopher of Jenna. To be honest, I don't know what frightened the shit out of me more. Fancying a girl, or the possibility that she might actually fancy me back.

XXX

Naomi

Well that was well weird, I said to myself as Emily Fitch left. What started off as a bit of harmless flirtation...well, maybe less than harmless, seeing as she copped such an eyeful last night...but anyway, what started off as something casual, _hot_ but casual, turned into something quite different. Whatever she said about her sexuality, my gaydar is seldom wrong. She may not be gay, but the amount of conflict in those pretty eyes told me loud and clear she had definitely thought about it.

Whatever, I thought, trying to get my brain on track for the day. I had a blog to write, and deadlines to reach. I sighed one last time over the enigma that was Emily Fitch, and settled down to write. It was only an hour later, and 2000 worthless words, that I realised I wasn't writing anything sensible. My brain had turned to mush. Fucking straight girls, messing with head, with their soft brown eyes, cupid bow lips and lovely tit..._Fuck_! there I went again, off at an Emily shaped tangent. I growled at myself to get a fucking grip. Shaking my head, I stood up and walked to the window, opening one side to let some much needed fresh air in. Of course, I thought, almost angrily as I caught movement opposite... she would be there, wouldn't she?

She waved dorkily at me (actually, it was quite adorable), duster in hand and Jesus, if I didn't wave right back. I'm fucked, I thought...

XXX

Emily

Sometimes there is a God. Not only did Katie call and cancel this morning, because she had some kind of 'shoe crisis', but I got a call straight after from Jason. He'd been invited out by his boss tomorrow night to discuss a new project they were working on. Did I mind? Not a chance. Maybe I could go to Naomi's tomorrow night after all. I spotted her standing at her window a bit later and gave her a wave. She waved back, but her expression was a bit distracted, so I left it at that. I felt strangely excited at the prospect of seeing her again, even if it was tinged with a fair bit of fear at what the evening might bring. I spent the rest of the day wandering around boutique's, looking for something to wear that didn't immediately label me as prematurely middle aged and married. I even got myself a re tint at the hairdressers. Red suits me, and I wanted to make an impression. Who on, and what for would have to wait...

Two hours later, I'd found what I was looking for. Red shot silk shirt, black high waist trousers and a new pair of black ankle boots. If I say so myself, I think I'll look hot in them. A bit of my brain nagged me about why the fuck I cared about how hot I looked seeing as how I'm straight as an arrow and everything, but I ignored it. Something I have been doing a whole lot of lately. Do you think we have a straight and gay parts of the brain? If so, the Ms Hetero Fitch half was two falls down, with a knockout imminent.

Naomi

I don't know why the fuck I'm so nervous. I don't do fucking nervous. But since Emily told me this morning that she was taking me up on my dinner invitation, I've been like a clubber 20 minutes into a coke hit. All I needed was the grinding teeth and loss of appetite... I mean, its only Effy, Sam and Tom anyway...oh, and Emily of course. Effy has been my friend since uni, and although she's been a total player in the past, like me, we haven't done the dirty deed since then. She likes to play both sides of the field, does Effy, and she mows them down like ripe corn. Boys, girls, men and women, all the same to her. We used to hunt together after we got bored shagging each other after parties, but those days are behind me now. She was and probably still is a mint shag, but she's been with Sam for about 9 months now, and I get the feeling the great Effy Stonem is well on the way to being pussy whipped. Not that she'd admit it. She started much earlier than me with the girls...some of the 'behind the bike shed' adventures she's told me about would make a stand up comedian blush. I started later, after an embarrassing and unsatisfactory year or so trying to persuade myself I was straight, then discovering that I hated the taste, smell and feel of cock. Yuk.

Anyway, I've warned her off being too...intense... with Emily. I told her my pretty neighbour is straight and married, but that didn't stop her being cheeky and inviting Tom, who's currently...in between... girlfriends. I told Eff to play nice. Not that I want Tom...or anyone else for that matter to get off with Emily. No sir, respecting boundaries and all that. Of course, I've admitted to _myself_ finally that I flat out fancy her. No point in avoiding the obvious, but I also like her. I like her shy ways and crooked smile, I like the way she looks away before glancing back at me and doing things with those deep brown eyes that heat my blood better than a vampires kiss Oh fuck it, Naomi...admit it...you want to get into her pants so bad, its fucking written on your forehead. And thats without the oracle called Effy's powers of observation...

So its ten to eight and Effy and Sam are already here, Drinking my Chateau Margeaux like there's never gonna be a shortage. I'm dressed up more than I usually do for a casual dinner at home with friends...something which has definitely not gone unnoticed by Ms Stonem and partner. Tom knocks next, waving a superior bottle of Burgundy, which I'll save till later, current guests permitting. I let Tom kiss both my cheeks, although we both know he's got more chance of a blow job from Jason Statham than a shag with me. I fuss around, filling glasses, and trying hard not to look at my watch. Fuck...she's late. Probably been ambushed by fucking token husband, I thought grimly.

Just then, there's a gentle knock at my door, and I body swerve my other guests to be first at the entrance. It swings open, and my heart literally skips a beat. _OMFG_... she looks stunning. Her long hair is up, off her neck, and it takes all my self control not to kiss her below the ear...she looks good enough to eat...and take that anyway you fucking like. I smile, only a bit wobbly round the edges, and invite her in.

"This is my friend, Emily" I say to the group, and hear someone catch their breath. Too right, I think, she IS fucking stunning, isn't she. Its not until I hear Emily gasp too that I realise I seem to be a bit out of the loop. Emily and Effy are staring at each other with very different expressions on their faces. Emily looks terrified, and Effy is smirking in the way she does when she has the punchline to a joke no one else understands in the first place. I looked from one to the other. My happy smile frozen on my face.

"Emily and I have already...err...met...we're very old friends" she drawls "how are you these days, Ems...?" Effy follows that up with a totally insincere smile.

Oh fuck, I think dumbly. Effy's fucking _HAD_ her. Little Miss Straight Housewife. The sudden stab of intense jealousy hit me like a runaway truck. Way to ruin a perfect evening...bitch, I think. The next thing I hear is the door slamming shut..with Emily Fitch on the wrong side of it. With just one furious look at my soon to be ex best friend, I opened the door and chased after her.

Emily

Oh fucking _brilliant_, I thought frantically, Effy sodding Stonem. My one and only lesbian adventure, at sweet 16, knickers pushed aside and training bra up around my neck as she fingered me to a shivering, moaning orgasm against the bike sheds after an end of term school party. _That_ Effy Stonem. I mean what are the odds? She was a year older than me, so I never saw her at school after that. Not that I didn't relive it for years afterwards, alone, in my bed, when Katie was in the shower. That single experience coloured my entire adolescence. I never touched another girl, never had another girls tongue in my mouth or hand in my pants...but I fucking _wanted_ to so desperately I could taste it. Not her of course. She was just the person who opened my eyes to the possibility of sex being more than just rough fingers, rampant acne and white, hard to shift stains on my skirt. She never considered me girlfriend material, and to be honest, I never wanted her to be. She was pretty then, and she still is stunning, but she's got no vulnerability about her...not like Naomi. Oh fuck, Naomi. I just ran out on her dinner party. The shock of seeing Effy standing there , with that sardonic, knowing look in her eyes made my limbs move without my brain catching up in any way.

I got to my front door and fumbled clumsily in my tiny bag for the door keys. Stupid things, tangled up at the bottom, underneath lipstick, eye shadow, phone and other random stuff. Just as I grabbed the small bunch in my hand and started to probe for the cylinder lock, I felt someone behind me. Please say it isn't Effy, I prayed.

It wasn't. I knew the scent immediately. Vanilla and cherries. Naomi. I turned round slowly and looked up at her.

"Effy's my best friend...but she's also a complete dick sometimes" she said , smiling gently at me. "Whatever the history you both have, its none of my business" She smiled again " No one is going to judge you Emily" she said quietly " I thought we'd sorted this shit out...I don't do bigotry, and nor do my friends..I might be a teensy bit _jealous_ about your ...err...history with Eff, but..."

I blinked at that. Jealous? Where the fuck did that come from? She was right of course. Even in the brief time I'd known her, I knew she was her own person. I didn't know much about her friends, but maybe running out immediately wasn't the best option.

"Sorry Naomi..."I said "I don't want to spoil your dinner party. If you'd rather I didn't stay, thats fine, I understand"

"Not a _chance_" she grinned "You look fucking fantastic hun. Why deprive the public of that gorgeous body a moment longer?"

That made me laugh, which relaxed me no end. Naomi linked my arm in hers and we walked back like that. I still felt nervous as hell. Bumping into Effy Stonem like that was like a bucket of cold water over my good mood. But with Naomi holding onto me, and her heady scent making my head spin, I went with her.

In the end, the dinner party was a lot of fun. Effy apologised, several times, and happily, didn't expand on her comments, well not in front of the others anyway. Naomi was attentive to us all, funny as fuck and obviously at ease with the raucous banter around the table. Tom tried to hit on me a bit, after Naomi and Effy went into the kitchen to breakout the Ben and Jerry's, but I told him firmly that I was happily married, and not looking for any extra marital encounters. Naomi came back into the lounge just as I finished that sentence, and the smirk she aimed at me made me giggle out loud. Who was I trying to kid? I might be married, but it wasn't happily, and any extra marital funny business was only on the cards if a certain bottle blonde made a move on me. I knew Effy wasn't finished with me yet though, so when she sidled up to me as Naomi and Sam were arguing over the virtues of Lady Gaga's meat dress (who knew?) and pulled me over to the lounge window. I got a little twinge when I looked out and saw my own bedroom window looking back at me. Remembering what I'd seen, last time I'd looked in the other direction, I think my ears might have got a bit pink. Effy regarded me with that all knowing smirk and said

"So... Emily Fitch...married to a guy...and blissfully happy huh...? Never figured that one. I seem to remember you were quite the enthusiast for...the power of the pussy, back then, babe. What happened to change your mind?"

I swallowed hard. I knew it was coming, but it was still acutely embarrassing to be talking to her about it. Literally the last memory I have of Effy Stonem was the glistening of her fingers in the darkness, only just taken out of me, a parting hard kiss and a hurried "Thanks for that babe...I really needed that"

Now I was standing talking to her at a party.

I stared back at her nervously

"I sort of met this guy...and he made me laugh, and he was kind, and thoughtful, and we just..."

She interrupted me with an impatient look.

"I'm not asking you why you married...?"

"Jason" I said

"Jason...right" she drawled "I'm asking why you're _here_. With Naomi, who, if I'm not totally mistaken, is not only the hottest dyke for about 50 miles, present company excepted, but _never_ makes casual friends, especially straight married ones, and certainly doesn't run after them when they lose it..."

"I'm not _with_ her" I said sharply "It's not like _that_. She's fun, and witty and good company...and..."

"...And if she asked you...which she _will_, sooner or later, judging by the looks she's been giving you all night, you _definitely_ won't end up in bed with her, then?"

The shock on my face must have been priceless.

"N..no!" I said quickly, but the heat of my face nearly set the curtains alight "We're just...good friends...nothing sexual about it at all"

Effy smirked again, and raised an entirely unimpressed eyebrow

"Keep hanging on to that thought, Emily Fitch" she said with a wink "You'll need something to get you through the no doubt...boring nights with...Jackson?"

And with that, she left me standing there, looking at my own reflection in the window.

The party broke up shortly after that. Effy and Sam were giving the sort of PDA demonstration which left Tom with a visible hard on, and me with throbbing toes. I caught Naomi's eye as Effy copped a slow squeeze of Sams boob, and her wink made me giggle and blush, all at the same time. Effy insisted that 'us girls', swap phone numbers, and I suddenly found three new numbers in my very short contact list. I put the phone back in my bag, telling myself firmly that as soon as I got home, the details would be edited immediately. I dread to think what my mum or sister would say if they saw '_Lezzer No:1_' pop up on my screen. I'm sure Effy found it amusing though...

Effy and Sam took Tom with them when they left. I made all the right noises about helping to clear up, but Naomi wouldn't let me. She insisted we have one last coffee before I went back to my empty apartment. I wasn't hard to persuade. I knew that Jason and Freddie...yes, _that_ Freddie, my sisters other half, father to my nephew and my husbands boss, would be out till all hours,'talking business' which normally involved alcohol and copious amounts of weed. I just hoped Jason didn't bring Freddie back with him. One drunk and curry stained male at 2am is bad enough... I had no wish to be witness to a PlayStation duel till dawn

So we chatted, and successfully avoided the fucking great elephant in the room, namely my growing attraction to Naomi, and presumably the attraction she apparently had for me, and when I left, the small kiss she left on my cheek only burned for minutes this time, not hours. I got back to my place, closed the door behind me and breathed again properly for what seemed the first time in weeks. I took off my trousers and top, hanging them neatly in my wardrobe.

I looked down at myself, noting the Victoria Secret cream lace underwear with something like regret. What was I expecting? Slow seduction...hot kisses and clever fingers? Never gonna happen, was it? Naomi had made it clear with several comments tonight at dinner, that she didn't cheat, didn't date 'straight' girls, and definitely didn't 'do' married women. I still remembered the sick feeling in my stomach when she said that. I knew Effy's eyes were all over me at that moment, but I kept mine firmly on my plate, picking at the salad with a disinterested fork. I'm all three of those no no's, aren't I?. Married, 'straight' and a would be cheater. Suddenly the euphoria of having a new social life of my own evaporated. Back to reality then. Bed then..., tomorrow I'm working for my mother all day, running messages from studio to producer. And to make my life just perfect...tomorrow is payday for Jason... better get some minced beef (for him) and extra strong mouthwash (for me) in when I go shopping, I suppose...

Naomi

I started to clean up, then though, fuck it, tomorrow's soon enough. I grabbed a quick 5 minute shower and climbed into my soft and inviting bed gratefully. If I told you my mind wasn't full of red hair and brown eyes before I dropped off, I'd be a liar. I even considered rubbing one out, just to take the edge off. But to be honest, it wasn't even a sex thing any more, well not entirely. Inside that shy, introverted exterior, there was a little tiger growling to come out..and I wanted to meet it. Rules are meant to be broken, aren't they?

XXX

_"Naomi" she said sexily, drawing out my name extravagantly..." I want you to fuck me"_

_I swallowed hard as she stood there, at my bedroom door, naked apart from a pair of tiny white knickers. Her tits were full and hard tipped with already excited nipples. I could feel the saliva in my mouth dry up at the thought of what her skin would taste like...and other places..._

_"I want you to fuck me lover...just like you fucked Jessica the other night. Don't leave __**anything**__ out...I want all of it, your fingers, your tongue, that big fat strap on black dildo you keep in that wardrobe...everything. I want you to to fuck me until I scream, then I want you to fuck me some more...am I making myself clear, honey?"_

_I nodded dumbly. I understood alright, even as I puzzled over how she knew about the dildo in the wardrobe. But what the hell, Emily Fitch, now utterly naked as she dropped those flimsy knickers onto my carpet, was asking me to make her come, over and over again. My cunt clenched almost painfully as I watched her tits bounce when she started to move towards the bed._

_"Come here" I growled..."I'm going to rock your world little girl. You'll never go back to cock again"_

_She walked slowly to my bed. Smiling seductively as she passed me. I felt like a nervous schoolgirl, just perched on the end, watching her pass. She stretched out on the quilt, laying back on the pillows and looked at me with eyes like hot coals. Her creamy thighs parted and I felt my heart banging in my chest as I glimpsed her sex for the first, but hopefully not last time. She smirked before sliding her right hand between her legs._

_"Don't keep me waiting too long babe" she purred " I might have to start without you" _

_I saw her fingers start to move. My mouth went even drier as I realised what she was doing to herself. She opened her thighs wider and then cupped a perfect breast with her other hand. Suddenly I knew that if I didn't taste her now, I would almost certainly go mad._

_I knelt on the end of the bed and dipped my head between her smooth thighs. She parted them even wider for me and I smelt her musky excitement. It was a scent I could breathe in for a lifetime. I stretched out my tongue and ran it slowly up the whole length of her there. She groaned and threw her head back, gripping my hair in her hand as I started to work on her, dipping inside and circling round her clit. _

_"Jesus, Naomi" she moaned " Just like that baby...oh yes, just like THAT!" _

_As I licked her steadily, she rolled her hips in counterpoint to my teasing. I slid my hands under her legs until I could grip her thighs properly. She thrust back hard as my tongue probed inside her hot wet centre. This was fucking heaven, I thought...I'm actually fucking Emily Fitch..._

_She opened her eyes again and stared at me working between her legs_

_"Thats it Naomi...lick me good baby..you must have had soooo much practice to be this talented. But I think you need something...extra tonight"_

_I looked up at her, puzzled. My tongue continued to flick and probe inside her, but my mind was trying fuzzily to process what she was saying._

_Just then, I felt a pair of strong hands grip my waist from behind. My mouth left her cunt abruptly and I looked up at her in shock. _

_"What the actual... fuck...? I spluttered._

_"Oh chill out Naomi" she laughed..."Its only Jason...You didn't think I'd leave my darling husband out of the fun, did you. He's been sooo looking forward to...meeting you...in person, as it were?"_

_She grinned at me wolfishly. " Just enjoy it...I do..every fucking night, and twice on Sunday's, babe"_

_With growing horror, I felt his hard cock probing for entry behind me._

_"N,,,no..stop...I don't want this" I whispered, as he thrust inside me in one long movement. I felt him begin to pump in and out of me._

_"Emily please..." I begged "Tell him to stop...I'm not...I mean I don't like..."_

_Emily gripped my hair with strong fingers, lifting my head until I looked into her eyes which had hardened into dark flint_

_"Whats the problem hun" she sneered " Share and share alike...cock, pussy, its all the same...isn't that right Eff?"_

_I turned my head, looking past the sweating, naked guy pounding into me from behind._

_Effy and Sam stood in the doorway, arm in arm looking at me in undisguised disgust._

_I put my head down onto my arms and a scream bubbled in my throat...No...No..._

"**NO**!" I woke up on my front sweating and clutching a crumpled pillow with both hands. Jesus H Christ, it had just been a shitty nightmare... I got up shakily, even though it was only 5am by the alarm. I stood in the doorway of my bedroom for a long minute, looking at the tangled, damp sheet and remembering the all too real sensations the dream had contained. Lust, yes, but lack of control and panic were far more powerful emotions for me. I hated to be vulnerable...scared...helpless...This infatuation had to stop. Emily might not be exactly straight. But she was..._is_...married, and I don't do cheating...right? I made myself some coffee, studiously avoiding the lounge, with its view of Emily...and _Jason's_ bedroom. Fuck it. I needed to get this out of my system. It wasn't going anywhere on its own, and I knew just the right person to drive all thoughts of my married neighbour out of my head. I opened my laptop and scrolled down my contact list in Outlook. Sarah...Selena...here it is...Sophia. I started to write, feeling better already. Sophia Moore always had the cure to my fever... She was probably on a lay over this weekend. Perfect.

**Well?**

**Not going exactly to plan yet for our girls, and I can tell you already hate Jason, lol.**

**Uh Oh...though. Sophia and jean shorts on the horizon. Fear not, I have a cunning plan (must stop watching reruns of Blackadder)**

**Reviews make me happy, I write more, **_**you**_** get happy...see how it works? Ha ha ha...**

**Another chapter of 'Long Road' is imminent. Got a bit sidetracked reading GodlessHippy's 'Beneath it All' which was always one of my favourites. Recently updated, and with a perfectly evil Tony Stonem in it. She has a way of making your heart sink that makes me terribly jealous as a writer. Just little phrases like '**_**She's always sweet and...**__**willing when I visit her**_**' (Tony to Naomi, trying to stake a claim on his ex, Emily) which chills my blood. I mean, Emily Fitch being screwed by some arrogant oaf, beyond painful... Anyway, if you haven't read it. Do!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Next one in the 'Steamy Windows' saga then. Reviews have been very welcome. BTW, if you haven't read any of garden_nomes stuff, you have time, before you read this. I can recommend _Rainbow Unicorn_. Its funny, sexy and beautifully written. What are you waiting for?**

Emily

The next few days were a bit of a blur to be honest. I didn't see or hear from Naomi, despite hanging about in my bedroom for a ridiculous amount of time, hoping she'd make an appearance in her lounge window. Not that I wanted a repeat of the other night. Watching her make out with that...girl...was very err...stimulating, but now I'd had the chance to actually meet Naomi properly, I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be a tiny bit jealous if I saw her with someone else, however exciting the view.

But I hadn't got up the nerve to visit for coffee again either. Much as I enjoyed talking to her, I always seemed to be able to come up with an excuse not to knock on her door. I told myself she wouldn't be interested in me that way anyway. She thinks I'm straight...well, straightish. She knows I'm married...'happily' supposedly. And I saw right through her light hearted brushing off of the fact that Effy and I had history. I'd seen the clear disappointment on her face when she realised Effy had _had_ me...even if she understands it was a long time ago, and meant nothing to Effy.

So I carried on being the dutiful wife and daughter I have been these past few years and tried to forget about my fantasy affair with the sexy creature across the courtyard.

Might as well try to forget to breathe, I suppose. I might have persuaded myself not to visit again, or spy on her, but I couldn't stop the dreams. Lurid, sex filled dreams which woke me up, hot and excited. Twice this week, I have had to get up in the night and go into the bathroom to finish myself off. Jason hasn't noticed, of course. He got his monthly blow job on Tuesday, which seems to have satisfied his almost non existent sex drive for a while. Thats another thing we...don't...have in common. Whether I enjoy sex with him or not...and to be fair, I never really have... our sex drives are poles apart. I need some sort of relief several times a week. So I help myself, as it were. He is happy to get off in my mouth once a month, and actually fuck me at Christmas or Anniversaries.

But this morning pretty much wrecked my self imposed separation from the object of my desires. I came out of my apartment and started to walk towards the lift. I thought there was absolutely no chance of bumping into Naomi. She is a late riser, as she told me, and I was on my way to the studio, for another mind numbingly boring shift as my mothers gopher. So when Naomi's door opened and a dark haired woman stumbled out, giggling, I just stood there with my mouth open like a fool. Right behind her was Naomi, wearing just a tee shirt over nothing much, and a dreamy smile. A smile which disappeared faster than one of David Cameron's promises once she spotted me.

I looked away in embarrassment, but it was too late. The other girl noticed the look that passed between Naomi and me...and she smirked nastily.

"_Pretty_ neighbours, Naomi babe" she grinned "Should I be jealous?"

Naomi said something low and indistinct, avoiding my eyes, but the other girl was determined to mark her territory. I was praying for the lift to appear and rescue me, but the LCD screen stubbornly refused to show our floor number.

The girl slung her arms round Naomi's neck and kissed her extravagantly. I could see Naomi squirming slightly, but it was slim comfort.

"Call you later then babe?" the girl said, winking at me "I need some time to recover... after last night... you _animal_"

Then she left, avoiding me at the lift and disappearing down the emergency stairs. I stood there for a second, consciously avoiding Naomi's stare.

"She's not...I mean we're not..." she said...trying to get my attention.

"None of my business Naomi" I said in a voice which betrayed the fact that I wished it _was_ my business...very much so.

"Emily..." she said quietly, as the lift doors finally opened "It's not what you think...I mean"

"None of my business what you do Naomi" I repeated myself tightly

"You're single..she's presumably single. Do what you like, fuck who you like"

"I thought we were friends?" she said quietly " Aren't we... friends?"

"Friends don't normally ignore each other. Friends don't ignore each others texts and calls. What sort of friends do you normally have Naomi?"

"I'm sorry..." she said, looking down at the floor " I've been sort of busy and..."

I flashed her a look which made her blink "Yeah... I can see you've been busy..." Then I got in the lift and faced away from her until the doors closed. When they finally did, I looked at myself in the full length wall mirror. I might have been able to convince her that I wasn't bothered about seeing her post coital morning goodbye, but the person looking back at me frankly looked like she'd seen a ghost. I mean, who was I kidding here? She might have come across at the dinner party as someone who liked me..even fancied me a little. But 5 days of ignoring me followed by spending the night with that...slut...was evidence enough, wasn't it?

The rest of the day was as shit as the beginning had been. I was ordered around by my mother like I was the lowliest junior runner, and by the time I got onto the bus to come home, I was about as low as I ever remember being. My husband didn't love me...maybe didn't even fancy me much...my mother treated me like a skivvy, with no prospect of that changing in the near future, and I was living a total lie. Add to that the fact that the woman I had been stupidly lusting after had spent last night with her tongue inside some one else, and I think you can safely say I hated my life.

My phone buzzed irritatingly as I took it off silent. Mother hates ring tones that aren't her own, so they have a strict no phone rule at work. Great,..three missed calls and five texts from you know who.

"Fuck _off_ Naomi" I said quietly...not quietly enough, obviously, as the woman in front of me with the obnoxious screaming toddler turned and glared at me.

And one text from Jason. He never tries to contact me at work. He's more scared of my mother than I am. I opened his message...after reading it, I nearly gave the woman in front another reason to complain. Great...he's out again tonight with Freddie. Sometimes I think he would have been better off marrying my sisters partner and working for me, instead of the other way round. Another lonely night alone then, I thought gloomily. Still, maybe Naomi will give me a 'special' floor show tonight... by the looks of that slutty cow she was with this morning, she'd probably be well up for humiliating me with a sexy cabaret.

When I finally got indoors, I dropped my bag and jacket on the sofa and walked straight into the bedroom. I stripped off my blouse and skirt, not even bothering to close the curtains. I stretched, trying to iron out the kinks from today and reached behind my back to unclasp my bra. I desperately needed a shower, I felt gritty and tired. Just as I unclipped it, I caught movement from the window opposite. I don't know what possessed me...I mean, I've never done anything like it before, but it suddenly occurred to me that the boot was on the other foot now. I didn't need to look again to see who was perving on me. The flash of peroxide hair and the shocked look on the woman's face was enough...

I dropped my bra to the bedroom floor and massaged my tits slowly. The bra was getting a bit tight nowadays, and I made a mental note to get measured again. Looked like I was moving into C cup territory. But that wasn't why I was quite frankly playing with my tits. I'd seen hers..and they were... beautiful. Fuck it, I thought...get a load of these puppies babe. Still not looking out of the window I hooked my thumbs in my flimsy knickers. I slid them down my legs before straightening up and walked to the window. No one but my husband knows I wax down there...smooth as silk...just how I prefer it. But after tonight, one more person would be on that list. I stared out of the window, a lot more boldly than I actually felt, reached up on tip toes, so my whole body could be seen, and drew the drapes closed...slowly. Naomi's face was a picture. The added bonus of seeing the full coffee cup drop from her fingers onto that pure white lounge carpet was an added bonus...

XXX

Naomi

Jesus Christ on a fucking bike...Had I just seen what my brain was screaming at me? I stared stupidly at the large brown stain which was slowly spreading across the pristine white of my fucking expensive carpet. One tiny, rational part of my brain was telling me to get something practical to clear up the mess...the other 95% was yelling at me to go over to her apartment and fuck her brains out...now...this instant. In the end, I did neither. I stood there for a couple of seconds, contemplating, then gave in to 'sensible Naomi' and walked into the kitchen. Still no closer to dealing with my ruined carpet, but at least I wasn't still staring at a pair of closed curtains, like I had been hit with a lightning strike. A small improvement, but not much.

She fucking _flashed_ me...was repeating itself in my muddled head, interspersed with random thoughts of how drop dead gorgeous she looked naked. Her tits are bigger than I thought they would be...came out of nowhere, and I actually shook my head to clear it, something I thought only happens in movies.

Eventually, I got myself together and mopped up the coffee, before ringing someone off the internet to come round tomorrow to clean it professionally. But really that was all a total delaying tactic, so I didn't have to process the fact about what I was going to do about my newly confident neighbour...

I flipped open my laptop lid again and logged on to my own blog. "Typing the Velvet' isn't the most original name for a lesbian site, but I like it, OK?

I opened the administrator screen and scanned the email section. I deleted the usual evening crop of anti gay and troll messages, most of them without actually opening the message. If it's headed up '_Die you_ _cunt licking bitch_' It gives me a clue... There were also the normal tranche of lonely and desperate inquiries. I deal with them sympathetically. A 16 year old who had fallen in love with her straight best friend, a woman in her 30's who has just had her first lesbian kiss and wants to know what to do about it. Just the ordinary lives of ordinary people. Mostly, they actually know what it is they are trying to do. They just sometimes need a push from someone who has been through it before, to get them moving in the right direction. Not that giving in to their desires is always the right direction. Sometimes, that drunken kiss with your best mate should be left where it laid,..in your fantasies, only taken out when you're on your own and want some extra...stimulation. I never judged, never recommended. Each to their own. And then I spotted another, more interesting message.

"I'm really attracted to my neighbour, who is a very beautiful and 'out there' gay woman..she gives me mixed signals, but I think she actually likes me more than she lets on. Should I act on my fantasies about her, or forget it?"

Whoa...bit close to home, that one, I thought. How do I answer that without dealing with my own issues at the same time? I sat and thought about it for a while, then started to type.

"Basically, _E_...you need to decide what you want, not what _she_ will do about it. Is this something you've thought about before...with another woman, or is it just that she attracts you so strongly that it overrides your usual inclinations. Have you had any experience with another female before. If so, and you enjoyed it, it would seem to indicate that you are at least bisexual. Nothing wrong with that, but just complicates things a little. Are you in a relationship at the moment, and how do you feel about how this attraction will affect that? Its rare to find anyone in a happy, committed hetero relationship who suddenly finds themselves considering embarking on a gay affair unless they feel there's something fundamental missing from their life. I suggest you have a think about how much this means to you before acting on it. Let me know if I can help any more.

I clicked on send and forgot it. Ten minutes later, I got a reply.

"Hi. Thanks for that. I'm pretty sure she fancies me a bit. But I'm really, really nervous, about making a fool of myself with her, because my only previous experience was with someone older, who wasn't interested in a relationship. Well, to be honest, it was a bit of a one off...very satisfying at the time, but never going anywhere. This neighbour is drop dead gorgeous, but she is a bit of a player. I've seen her with at least two other women recently, and its obvious she doesn't do commitment. Am I wasting my time?"

I was suddenly getting the feeling that this inquiry was a lot closer to home than I'd originally thought, It couldn't be...her...could it?

"Does she show any of the more obvious signs of feeling more than just basic sexual attraction? Is she kind to you, does she show any care for your feelings... have you even talked to her about this? She may think you are straight, and happy. You didn't answer my question about your relationship status. _Are_ you happy, _are_ you married, are you looking for a one night stand, because your 'girl' is obviously OK with that sort of hook up. Or do you think she's looking for more too. Maybe those one night stands are a substitute for a proper relationship. She might be looking as hard as you for 'the one' The only way you can really find out is by talking to her. If she lives near you, why not try dropping in for coffee"

I knew the last bit was risking blowing my cover. After all, if it wasn't Emily, I could be subjecting some poor unsuspecting woman to unwanted advances. But the more I re read '_E's_ messages, the more that knot in my stomach grew.

I waited for over 15 minutes for the reply.

"I've tried coffee. It left me more confused when I left than when I got there. Anyway, she's a bit clumsy with coffee, maybe white wine would be safer?"

I sat back in my chair and grinned. It fucking _was_ her. Cheeky cow. I may be clumsy, but being confronted with a naked Emily Fitch will do that every time. I started to type.

"Like I said...I think you're answering your own questions here. Get a bottle of wine...red is a favourite of mine, but she may be different. Put something sexy on, and go visit. Is she alone now? If she is, I think you might get a pleasant surprise"

Five minutes later, the gentle knock at the door told me I had been right. I had just had time to change into a little white dress I always liked. Short and with spaghetti straps. Not formal, but just revealing enough to tempt. And I knew who I wanted to tempt...

When I answered my door she was standing there in a really short blue skirt which showed off her surprisingly long, creamy legs, and tight white top which emphasized her full boobs. Her expression was nervous, but she smiled as I looked at her with one eyebrow raised.

"I think you said red?" She smiled cheekily

"Come in Emily..." I said " I think we've danced around this moment enough, don't you?"

We made it as far as the kitchen door before I had to kiss her. Fuck principles, fuck rules, one whiff of her heady scent, and the sight of that pretty arse walking in front of me made my centre hot and my nipples crinkle. I spun her round and tilted her chin up so she was looking into my eyes.

"I lied..." I said simply " I fancy you something rotten. Can we cut the polite intro's...I just need to kiss you right now, this fucking minute, or I think my head might explode"

She smiled up at me gently and stroked the hand under her chin.

"That'd be a bit unfortunate Naomi" she said huskily "You've already been clumsy tonight once...I wouldn't want to be responsible for any more ruined carpets"

"As opposed to ruined underwear?" I said crudely and then mentally slapped myself as a shadow of doubt went over her pretty face.

"Is that all this is Naomi?" she said sadly "Another notch on your bedpost...another goodbye in the corridor tomorrow morning?"

"I'm sorry, Emily" I said, reaching down to hold her by the shoulders

"Sometimes I use bad humour when I'm nervous. You're not just another conquest. I've already broken at least three of my most definite rules just being here with you. Can we rewind that and start again?"

Her face softened and she smiled shyly at my expression.

"OK" she said quietly "I think I believe you. This is a really big thing for me Naomi...I've never..."

I stopped her with a finger on those soft, oh so kissable lips.

"You might find this hard to believe Emily" I whispered " But its quite a big thing for me too. I don't usually do...emotion...but there's something about you that..."

This time her finger on my lips stopped me saying more. She reached up and cupped my face in her small hands.

"Just kiss me...please?" she said in a voice even huskier than usual

That first kiss with Emily Fitch was the single most passionate moment in my life, and believe me, I've known plenty of passion. Her lips were as soft and inviting as I'd imagined they would be. There was nothing urgent or demanding about it. We just...fitted together. I ran my hands down her back and gripped her waist as the kiss deepened. When her tongue gently probed for mine, I curbed my instinct to dominate her. She didn't need that...not yet. I wanted her to feel safe at the same time as she felt dangerous. I wanted her to explore her need without thinking I was going to push her too fast, too soon. When her hands gripped my hair, and she moaned with excitement, I held back. The kiss went on and on. Soon we were stumbling towards my bedroom. Both of us were making small helpless sounds as the desire increased. I wanted her naked under me, that goes without saying...but mostly, I wanted this...her first proper sexual experience with another woman...I discounted her teenage fumbling with Effy...who had inevitably given me chapter and verse on their 'history' the morning after the dinner party... to be something she would never forget. I used all my self control not to start ripping off her clothes. This was no Jessica, all knowing looks and experience. and it was certainly no Sophia, with her strange kinks and handbag full of exotic toys...no, this was Emily Fitch. as damned near a virgin as I was ever likely to bed now I've entered my twenties. Emily Fitch...who needs to be loved as well as made love to. I was as excited as I had ever been. Recent memories of her body danced in my mind. Jesus, I was actually going to touch her...to taste her...everywhere. I started to undo the side zip on her skirt, while she was kneading and cupping my tits. We both moaned into each others mouths.

_Bang_..._bang_..._bang_, my front door resonated to a loud knocking.

"Ignore it" I hissed, as Emily pulled away from my lips and my scrabbling fingers. She looked up at me uncertainly. Her sweet lips swollen from the kissing. She held onto her skirt, which was starting to fall down.

"Perhaps you should get that Naomi" she said in a low voice " It sounds urgent"

I swore under my breath as I marched to the door. I swung it open and groaned for the second time tonight. Not from ecstasy this time. Swaying in the doorway, with a manic gleam in her eyes and a half empty bottle of scotch in one hand was...fucking Sophia.

"Naomi babes!" she shouted " I got that promotion. So I'm here for round two. Let me in...right now...I feel the need for some heavy duty Campbell loving"

If you actually could summon up the ground to swallow you up...difficult when you're on the fourth floor, I would happily have done it. I could hear the rustle of clothes as Emily tried to make herself decent behind me. Sophia squinted at me as my eyes flicked back and forward between her and Emily. She was way too far gone to be rational about it. And the next words that came out of her mouth proved it.

"Pretty _neighbour_" she slurred "Perfect, A threesome. Naomi...you still up to your old tricks...we haven't done that for ages?" She leered at Emily, who was trying her best to disappear into the wall at this point.

"If you're up for it babe...I'm game...me and Naoms haven't screwed a straight girl together since 6th form college, eh hun?"

I think I actually wanted to die at that point. The mood wasn't just killed off...it was hung drawn and fucking quartered. I felt Emily push past me, with just a tearful, reproachful look as she passed.

"Way to go Sophia" I said brutally "I think the supermarket on the corner missed that last bit. You've totally ruined a special night, thanks very fucking much"

I thought it couldn't get any worse...Emily was fleeing, humiliated, I had a drunk and gobby ex on my doorstep. What could possibly get worse?

You know when you say something like that, that the Gods are smirking up there, don't you. I should have known...it can ALWAYS get worse. Just as Emily reached the corner of the corridor between our flats, the lift doors opened. A slightly worse for wear guy stumbled out, being helped by another, dark haired, lanky guy, slightly less pissed. They took in the scene in one. It didn't take a detective to work it out. Emily, face blurred with kissed off make up, tears and lipstick, trying to zip up her skirt. Me on the doorstep with equally smeared make up...and a drunken Sophia, still giggling at her own joke, staring after Emily. I heard the drunk guy speak

"Emily?" he slurred ""What the FUCK is going on...what are you doing with those fucking..._dykes_?"

"Beam me up Scottie..." I thought bitterly, as Emily dissolved in tears and fled into her apartment I think we've seen all we need to of this galaxy...Captain Kirk

**Uh Oh... more trouble in paradise. Will Emily talk her way out of this. Will she ever talk to Naomi again? Will Sophia ever be anything but a nightmare in jean shorts? Tune in next week...oh, and leave a review on your way past, thanks very much guys!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi there. Steamy Windows 4 then. Although they aren't exactly steamy now...more opaque. Emily's gone back to Jason, trying to make up a good enough story to put him off finding out the truth. Naomi's retired hurt, disposing of Sophia by way of a brusque "fuck off" and Freddie is the sort of guy who'll never let the opportunity pass to get one up on his 'sister in law'. Oh dear...**

**I don't own Skins, or the mobile numbers of Kat Prescott or Lily Loveless. Sometimes life just isn't fair...**

Naomi

All the next day I tried to reach her on the phone. Nothing.. Already that evening, I had sat in my lounge like a sap, watching for the bedroom opposite to show signs of life. Nothing. Curtains stayed drawn.

Eventually I went to bed, after texting Emily yet again and then I tried Effy. I knew Eff was in Leeds this week, visiting Sam's parents, but I needed to hear a friendly voice. Suddenly the emptiness and isolation of my flat were not as comfortable as I was used to. I missed voices and hugs and all the other stuff I had shunned for years in favour of being untouchable...unreachable. I remembered the comment I got from an ex once ..she said, as she was leaving my apartment for the last time "_You're a fantastic shag Naomi...but there's no love inside you at all, is there?_" That one hurt more than I had let on at the time.

I even considered calling my mum, but I think the last postcard from her said she was in Jakarta. Typical.

Effy called back just after midnight. I woke from a jumbled dream about Emily and me sitting in front of rows of accusing spectators, all showing us the thumbs down, like we were Christians in the Coliseum. The buzz of my Blackberry made me jump, and I grabbed it from the bedside cabinet before it vibrated itself off onto the floor.

"Hey" she said simply, never one to waste words.

"I texted you at 9 o clock Eff" I said grumpily "Where the fuck were you?"

"Err... shagging my very attractive and willing girlfriend?" she said "It's what couples do? Anyway, shouldn't you be knuckle deep in Fitch goodness by now Naoms?"

Inappropriate crudity was one of my best friends less endearing characteristics.

"_Not_ funny Eff. Its all gone to shit. Emily and I were just about to do the dirty deed when fucking _Sophia_ turned up with a bottle of whisky and some lame threesome comments, and... spoiled everything. To make it worse, her limp dicked husband showed up in the lobby just as Emily was running back to her flat in tears. I think it's over before it's even started"

She stayed silent for a few seconds, but that was just Eff, so I didn't think she'd hung up on my sad arse. Not yet anyway.

"If I were you...and I thank God every day I'm not, Campbell" she said unhelpfully "I'd back pedal for a day or so. She's gonna be doing some heavy duty explaining over there, and even if he's stupid enough to believe it was all innocent, you turning up or phoning will make it worse. Hard as it will be, give her space. She's obviously really into you, but making her choose between gay and hetero now, under duress, won't work. She's not going to come out to all and sundry after one aborted grope, is she?

"Thanks Eff" I said ironically. "Doing fuck all...is that your best advice?"

Another long pause.

"Yep" she said not unkindly "Well, gotta go Naoms, things to do, people to see, girlfriends to fuck. You kind of interrupted something...memorable involving...batteries So don't think I'm being flippant babe, but a nights sleep and some space might be the best option now. I'm back the day after tomorrow. We'll work out a plan to get your girl then. In the meantime...our good friends Jack and Jim will help ease the pain"

Great, she's suggesting I spend the next 24 hours inside a bourbon bottle. Classic Effy.

Well I didn't drink myself into oblivion, and I didn't get much sleep, but by the next morning I had decided to take her advice. I left my own curtains closed in the lounge until midday. When I finally opened them I could see the bedroom opposite was empty. I decided to bury myself in site admin and partly successfully at least, wasted the afternoon answering more agony aunt emails and critiques. I even managed 3000 words on the article I was supposed to have submitted yesterday, so at least something constructive came out of the day. When it got dark, I sat in my lounge, only occasionally (alright about every three minutes) checking for signs of life opposite) Nada.

Finally, with nothing else to write, no corner of my apartment uncleaned and not a single article of clothing unwashed or unironed, I took Effy's advice and sat down with a bottle of Honey Jack D and started drinking seriously. Trouble is, when I get pissed alone, I get maudlin. I started to mumble to myself after the third shot, and by the sixth, I was blotting tears from the table top with my cuff and thumbing pathetic texts on my Blackberry to Emily, before deleting them one by one. Finally, I found some words which didn't... _a:_ sound like a pathetic suicide threat or _b__**: **_come across as a crazy stalker person.

"_Emily_" I texted in the end "_Sorry. Can we talk?_" Not overly profound, I know...

I waited another fifteen minutes and three more shots of JD before I got an answer. Well, I thought, as her name flashed up on the screen, perhaps Effy was right. Time at least made her respond. Better than yesterday's blank.

"_I'm sorry too_" she said "_I need time to think. Please __**DON'T**__ text me_ _again! Jason is checking my call history_"

And that was fucking _it_. I replied even so, but nothing happened. My personal Miss Maudlin was closely followed by her old friend Mrs Anger, but I just stopped myself going over and hammering on her door. By shot number 11, I wasn't physically capable anyway, so I dragged myself into bed and slept the coma of the terminally pissed. This time it was after 2pm the next day when I finally opened my eyes again...wishing fervently I hadn't bothered. The hangover was instant and savage, and even after 3 Paramols and a gallon of cold water, I still struggled to get out of bed. It was about 3.30 when I emerged from my bedroom, tangled hair, white faced and still wearing yesterdays sweats. I forced myself into a hot shower and stayed there until I could be sure I wasn't about to demonstrate the technicolor yawn technique on the wall opposite. I made myself some strong coffee and finally walked into the lounge. Inevitably, my eyes were drawn to the window and room opposite. There was _something_ different about it...but I couldn't work it out. The room was empty, but something was still missing if that makes any sense at all. I looked at it intently over the rim of my coffee cup and then, suddenly, it hit me. The suitcases which had been stacked on top of the wardrobes were gone, all of them.

She's fucked off, I thought, with a sinking heart. Maybe she's _left_ him...was my next one. I needed to know. Throwing a fleece over my sweat shirt and jogging bottoms, I grabbed my keys and made for the door. Stepping out into the hallway, I ran down to her door and knocked hard. If Mr Limp Dick answers, I thought, I'll just have to brazen it out. I have to fucking _know._

No answer, even though I knocked loudly enough to get Mrs Allerdice out of bed in the apartment opposite. She came to the door looking like I had interrupted a séance.

"They've gone away" she said primly, looking with undisguised disdain at my oh so obvious 'gay' leisure wear. "Spain?...Cyprus perhaps, I think for a couple of weeks. Last minute thing. Jason said he's treating Emily to a second honeymoon. So sweet, so wonderfully _romantic_ of him, don't you think?"

I didn't think. My face must have been an open book to the old girl. Her superior sneer told me everything I needed to know about her attitude to having a ' sexual deviant' across the hall. Unlike dear 'heterosexual' Emily, who was obviously now fully recovered from her exposure to my corrupting influence and no doubt inhaling Jason's tiny dick as we speak. I felt so nauseous, I thought I might projectile vomit there and then. Which when I think about it, would have been less unpleasant than it sounds, especially if I could have hit the old bags shoes when I did. But I didn't, I just nodded dumbly and fled back to my place. I did get inside the door before I let it go...but it was a close call. I cried a bit...and threw up a bit. Can't remember in what order.

XXX

Two weeks later.

Naomi

Well, they're back. I've spent the best part of the past two weeks gradually putting my life back on track. The first week was hardest. I moped and I grumbled and I damn near lost Effy as a best friend. She'd been used to the old Naomi, you see. I didn't do broken hearted back in the day. Usually, being dumped, for me, meant getting royally pissed for one night and then finding some willing victim to take out my frustration on, hopefully horizontally. But it wasn't working this time, and that worried Eff more than me continuously moping. We tried the old nightclub and casual pick-up routine, but after the third failed attempt due to my trying to find an Emily lookalike, she thankfully gave up trying to pair me off with the first reasonably attractive dyke we met, and left me to drink myself into oblivion.

But finally, in the middle of the second week, I stopped whining and got back to writing. I even let my anger and sense of rejection fuel an online article on the pointlessness of trying to queer up a straight woman. I had to delete a lot of it after, as frankly too personal and too bitter. But it helped... a bit.

XXX

I saw Emily first from the lobby window when I was putting out empty bottles from my week long binge. Far too many bottles. She was getting out of a taxi. Tanned, smiling at the driver and looking fucking gorgeous in a short yellow dress. Terrific. Someone had a good two weeks then, and it definitely wasn't me...My misery was compounded when an equally tanned Jason got out and started unloading suitcases. Happy fucking families or what...?

Maybe it was the fact that I was staring so hard, maybe she just felt a chill, but at that moment she looked up at me in the window. I stared, she stared back. She looked away first, fussing with her purse. It might have been something to do with my fixed, angry expression, maybe it was a tiny piece of remorse, I don't know. But I knew at _that_ moment I had been wasting my time pining over her. She didn't look like someone who had been press ganged into an unwanted holiday. She looked like someone who had enjoyed two weeks of sun, fun and lots of lovely sex with her doting husband. I fucking _hated_ her at that moment.

_Fuck_ her, I thought...fuck _you_ Emily Fitch. You'll never fool me again. I'm done...finished. I made my mind up to have absolutely nothing to do with her _ever_ again.

It lasted precisely 3 hours, ten minutes and fifteen seconds. And yes, I was counting...

XXX

I blame the lift. If it had come ten seconds earlier, I would have escaped.

I stood there, tapping my foot. Fucking lift. I was going out with Effy and Sam for a meal, and even though I was in a foul mood after spotting 'you know who' in the car park, I was determined to put it behind me for good. Seeing her like that, happy, relaxed and sun kissed, emphasised just how fucking stupid I had been to let our fledgling relationship take over my life. I gritted my teeth, murmuring dark curses under my breath.

And the guess who comes out of her door and stands next to me, waiting for that fucking lift? Yep. The person I least wanted to see in the entire world. I looked sideways and my heart leapt into my throat. Fuck, fuck **fuck**.

"Hi Naomi" she said quietly

"Sorry?" I said curtly, not looking in her direction "Do I know you?"

"Please don't be like this Naomi" she said in a whisper "I didn't want...I mean I never meant...I had no _choice_..."

I turned to look at her, my eyes narrowing and she actually shrank back at my hard expression.

"I'm _so_ sorry" I said acidly "I was mistaking you for a gentle, gay girl called Emily Fitch, who I was stupid enough to start caring about. All I can see here is a selfish bitch, who ignored me for _**two fucking weeks**_, and spent the time getting a fucking mint suntan and shagging her husband unconscious every night. Not someone I'd _ever_ want to know again. The someone _I_ knew wouldn't have done that to me. That someone started to make me actually believe in her. My bad, huh? Oh, and by the way..Emily...just so's we're clear about your lame excuses...we _always_ have a choice. Its just that some of us are brave enough to make them"

With that, and one last savage look at her shocked face, I started to walk away, towards the emergency stairs.

"If you ever see _that_ Emily" I threw over my shoulder as I closed the stairs door behind me "Tell her thanks for the reality check. I _was_ really upset, but now I know I was wasting my time all along, it makes it so much easier...Now, if you'll excuse me...I'm going out to get hammered, and then hopefully fucked within an inch of my life by the nearest hot dyke"

I heard a small sob as I left. But it didn't stop me walking down the stairs quickly. When the lift arrived on the ground floor, it was empty. Looks like I had altered her plans...shame.

XXX

Emily

My eyes stung as I stumbled back into my apartment after Naomi had banged the stair door behind her. The tears fell again, just like they had done when I'd fled from her place two weeks ago. The only good thing was that Jason was already at work. No need for feeble excuses and screaming rows this time. He didn't believe me, of course, when I made up some weak reason for even being with Naomi. He didn't buy the 'friendly neighbour' routine one little bit, It didn't help having Freddie smirking in the background with his 'I know what you were doing' face on either. I knew my sister would be getting a blow by blow account of that night as soon as he got home.

So the whole 'second honeymoon' thing was my only way of diverting him from the truth. When he eventually calmed down and suggested a holiday to 'get back in touch with each other (Yeah, bullshit I know, but what could I do?) I agreed. Worst decision of my life, and I've made some shit ones before, believe me. The first week was the worst. Jason decided, almost as soon as we landed in Cyprus, that getting me pregnant would somehow bring us closer together. This from the guy who had previously insisted on a condom as well as my own contraceptive... just in case. So I endured a whole week of missionary sex. Which was bad enough, watching him pounding away above me, trying to come. He managed it eventually, but I was so sore afterwards, I ached for an age. I could see his mind was elsewhere while he was inside me. I don't know what erotic fantasies he had to conjure up to get off, but they certainly weren't about me. Luckily for me, I lied about stopping the pill, so hopefully, all his hard work was in vain. The second week he mostly left me alone. I guess he figured he'd done his duty, and in 9 months I would not only be his dutiful wife, but a mother too. Two locks to hold me down.

I spent the last week mostly laying by the pool, getting brown and pining for Naomi. I know its ridiculous, we've only been 'friends' for a matter of weeks, but there's something about her I can't shake off. I know if that bitch hadn't showed up at her door, we would have slept together. and I know if that had happened, I wouldn't have been laying by a pool in Cyprus, while my husband got pissed with a load of guys, watching Euro fucking football.

But none of that matters now. The venom in her eyes this morning frightened the shit out of me. I understood that she would be angry with me for just fucking off without telling her, but I never expected her to be so hateful. I was so hurt, I just collapsed on my bed and cried until my phone buzzed. It was my mother...wondering when 'your lazy arse is going to get here'

My excuse about headaches and sickness produced a wholly inappropriate conversation about pregnancy. How she knew Jason had been trying to get me in that condition, I didn't have to guess, She'd always treated him more like a son than his own mother had. I'm thinking this whole second honeymoon, pregnant Emily thing was a joint exercise.

So I cried off the very tempting prospect of a Fitch family dinner and went to bed, my head full of Naomi thoughts and regrets. I woke early the next morning and tried very hard not to look across the courtyard into her lounge. The last thing my bruised ego needed to see was a half naked blonde wrapped around her latest conquest. She'd made it very clear I was now history, and, coward that I am, I found that easier to deal with.

Work was shit, which didn't surprise me, and I was relieved to be standing at the bus stop outside the studio at 5pm. Jason was in Manchester with Freddie, again, so I could at least look forward, if thats the right words, to a quiet night in with my friends Pinot Grigio and Haagen Daaz.

That is until a sleek sports car pulled into the bus lane and hooted at me. The window slid down expensively, and a very familiar face looked at me . Bollocks...Effy Stonem.

"Get in..." she said, stony faced, and I just stared back at her.

"It wasn't a request, Emily" she said, and threw open the door, Now I could have ignored her, I could have brushed her off, but judging by the look in her eyes, she wasn't beyond getting out and bundling me in physically. I got in.

The car shot away from the kerb like a fucking shuttle launch. I scrabbled for the seat belt while she skilfully negotiated the evening traffic.

"Err...Effy, I live that way?" I said weakly as she headed in the opposite direction.

"I'll get you home...little Fitch" she said, not looking at me. "But first we need to talk"

We finally pulled up at an expensive looking Georgian block in Victoria Square. She never spoke, just got out and waited for me to join her. We walked together up a metal outside staircase to a door on the side of the building. My nervous mind started to conjure up images of death and imprisonment, but she used a key to get in, and I realised it was a huge first floor apartment. It was furnished very expensively, and she pointed to an enormous leather couch.

"Sit" she said, never being one to waste words. Suddenly i recalled our little tryst behind the gym that time in the 5th year. She hadn't wasted any then either. It was more exchanged looks, my hand held on the way, then hot lips and experienced fingers inside my knickers.

"We need to talk" she said, pouring me a large vodka and handing it to me.

"About?" I said...as if I didn't know.

"Don't fuck me about Emily" she growled " About my best friend, and your very...close...neighbour"

"Oh" I murmured "Right"

"Now I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen. After that, you can have your say, but let me tell you straight off, your answer is going to be yes or no. No in between, no I don't knows and definitely no I need more times...is that understood?"

I nodded, why the fuck, I don't know. I didn't even know the question yet...

"OK" she started. " First of all, I'm going to fill you in on why Naomi Campbell might just be the best thing that's ever happened to you...my little in the closet lesbian. For three years now, I've watched her struggle to be something she's not. When that girl Elizabeth broke her heart, it broke something else inside her. She turned into a cold, emotionless seducer. No one else was gonna get to her. No one else was ever going to break her heart. So she used girls like disposable napkins. No one ever stayed the night, no one ever got her number and no one got a second date. She wasn't happy, but as far as she was concerned, no one got close enough to hurt her. She didn't do cheating, she didn't do married women, and she definitely didn't do straight girls. And then you came along, with your marriage, your perfect hetero relationship and your big brown eyes. And suddenly she's breaking all her rules"

She paused and took a big swallow of iced vanilla vodka.

"Now I love Naomi like a sister. We had a bit of a thing when we were younger, but it fizzled out. We're too similar, you see. But I want to see her happy. And she definitely isn't happy right now. And thats down to you, Emily Fitch. Now, Sophia turning up just when you two were just about to seal the deal" She paused as my eyes widened " Don't worry, she spared me the details. Your cup size is still a state secret"

I blinked as she refilled my glass. I hadn't even noticed I'd emptied it.

"But fucking off to sun sea and sex land for two weeks, after kissing her off was cruel Emily. She'd done nothing wrong. You met, you were attracted to each other, and from what I hear, you were as keen as Naomi to take it to the next level. But no...you fuck off with Jackson to the Med, and shag your way through a reconciliation. Naomi tries to drown herself in Kentucky's finest, and then you come back and assume one bat of those impressive eyelids and all would be forgiven. You obviously don't know her at all. She's madder at you now than I've ever known her to be with a woman. The question is Emily...and I want you to think very carefully before you answer, is...are you going to admit you have feelings for her, and act on them, or are you going to go back to Jackson, Jason, or whatever his fucking name is...and live out the rest of your life as a lie?"

I swallowed another generous slug of vodka. My head was swimming, but not really because of the strong spirit.

"Oh, and before you answer Emily" she smiled without humour " Can we just clear up one thing first?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice

"You _ARE_ gay...aren't you Emily Fitch?"

And there it was, the sixty four thousand dollar question. I could have lied. Could have prevaricated. But who was I finally kidding? A week of loveless sex with my husband had mattered less than one brush of Naomi's lips.

"Yes...I'm gay" I said, my voice breaking on the last word.

Effy smiled then...for the first time with real humour.

"Thank fuck for that" she grinned " So all we need to do is to find out if you actually want a relationship with my best friend"

"So...do you?"she asked bluntly. "I've done my share of talking. I think its time we found out a bit about the mysterious married lady who's stolen my mates heart"

"I... think so" I started and then remembered about her original demand. No hesitation then...I either did or didn't fancy Naomi. And I knew the truth without consciously needing to consider.

"I _do_" I said firmly "I've fancied her since the first time I saw her. But I've been living this lie for so long, I don't know how to dig myself out of it. I went on that holiday because it was easier than telling the truth. And I'm a total coward, because if that girl hadn't turned up when I was with Naomi, I would have slept with her, and I think..."

"You think you might have found out what all the fuss is about, and maybe given in trying to fit someone else's idea of what you are?"

"Yes" I said quietly "But its more than just that. I think I'm falling for her faster than I can deal with. It's not just the sex. I've spent enough years fantasizing about being with a woman...properly...to know that's what I want. But just having sex with her is the easy bit. I've got to give up everything that I have. My marriage, my family... probably my job, because I can't see my mother letting me stay at the studio after I drop the bombshell that I'm leaving my husband...her precious Jason...for another woman...and anyway, where would I go? My sister has no room at her place, even if Freddie would allow it. And Naomi hates me anyway at the moment. Its a long way from there to me moving in, don't you think? I don't think either of us are ready for that step...even if she wanted me to"

"So move in here?" Effy said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"You hardly know me" I said "Why would you do that for me...just like that?"

"Well its hardly just like that. Firstly I probably know you better than Naomi, at least at the moment" She raked my body with her eyes and I blushed violently. Jesus, she was right, Naomi and I had only kissed. This woman had touched me all over...she knew my body better than my husband.

"Right..." I said weakly " Can we leave the ancient history for another time...I got embarrassed enough when I saw you at Naomi's"

She sniggered and raised an eyebrow.

"And I'm doing this mainly for Naomi. Like I said, she's my best mate. At the moment she's in bits because she thinks you've dumped her before you even got started. If you move in here,..and just so's you know, I spend most of the week at Sam's... you'll have the space to find out what you really want, and without doing it on your doorstep, as it were. Just make sure you change the sheets, huh? "

I blushed again,..fuck, she knew how to press my buttons. Whether or not Naomi agreed to see me again, she was offering me the opportunity to break free here. Its not as if the job at the studio was anything I'd miss. I've always been a saver. There was over £25,000 In my little savings account. Jason and I rented the flat, so there was no tie there. Could I do it? Did I have the courage to actually follow my heart. I could see Effy watching me closely. i swear she could read minds...

"OK" I said finally. "Fuck it...where do I sign?"

"That calls for a drink", she said calmly... a damned sight more calmly that I was feeling. "But first you'd better get yourself some personal things from the flat. Is he home?"

"No..." I said "He's in Manchester"

"Perfect" she smiled "Naomi is at her yoga class this evening. We normally meet up here afterwards and have a general bitch about the world over a few glasses of port. I think we just about have time to get your things. I'll call a cab, I'm on my third vodka here. Are you ready to liberate yourself, Emily Fitch?"

XXX

An hour later, I was standing in Effys spare bedroom surrounded by the same suitcases I had recently unpacked after Cyprus. But this time, instead of a horrible sinking feeling in my stomach, at the prospect of a fortnight with my husband, I had a bad case of butterflies. Because in about ten minutes, someone who I thought might change my life forever was due to arrive. Effy was in the kitchen,preparing nibbles and making her way steadily through a bottle of Taylor's.

I had already had a shower,and this time, when I slipped on the Victoria Secret cream silk underwear with the white lace edging...I knew there was a slim chance someone else would be seeing it tonight. I dropped my best LBD over my shoulders and smoothed it across my stomach. Looking pretty good, Fitch, i smiled at my reflection in Effys dressing mirror. I just hope that Naomi will stay in the room long enough to appreciate the effort. I brushed out my hair, leaving it long, and 'borrowed' a dab of Issy Myaki from Effy's dresser.

Thirty seconds later... the doorbell rang...and Effy walked to the door to greet her visitor

Show time.

XXX

Naomi

I tripped over that stupid doorstep on the way into Effys apartment, so I didn't see her 'little visitor' until after I had said fuck several times and thrown my gym bag onto the floor.

"Jesus, Effy" I shouted grumpily." Two hours of contorting my body and supposedly achieving a higher spiritual plain, and I get maimed by your fucking door"

Effy just smirked in that fucking irritating way she had. She had a big balloon glass of what I hoped was a superior claret in her hand, and I made a grab for it immediate.

"Aren't you supposed to go to yoga classes to detox your 'temple' " she drawled sarcastically" This is a bit off message, no?"

"Bollocks to that" I said miserably " After the week I've had, what with little miss sunshine ruining my reputation as an ice maiden, and the crap I've just had to put up with in that class...do you know how many fucking yummy mummies there are in Bristol...if I have to listen to one more tale of pelvic floors and prolapsed wombs, I might just kill myself and do the world a favour"

"Don't do that hun" she grinned " I think your day just got 100% better"

She stepped aside and behind her stood the one person I would have bet my pubic hair was a million miles from here.

"Oh" I said dumbly "Emily...what the fuck are you doing here"

That was right about the time I noticed what she was wearing, and rational thought left my head, to parts unknown.

"Hi Naomi! she said, a small nervous smile playing on her lips " Surprise?"

Surprise really wasn't really in the same ball park, fuck, it wasn't in the same galaxy. What the fuck?

I turned to Effy with an expression which must have been easy to work out for someone with supernatural powers, and got a smug grin in return.

"Before you explode, Naomi, I think you need to drink that glass, sit down and listen, because...little miss sunshine has something to say you're gonna want to hear"

I gave her a hard stare, a look which I transferred to Emily, despite the fact that my brain was chattering manically at me 'Emily Fitch, little black dress, tanned legs, tits, arse...lips..here...now...with me...looking at me like I am a family sized tub of Cherry Garcia.

Luckily I managed to block out the frankly cretinous inner chatter and construct a coherent sentence. OK, it took a large swallow of the claret and one last bitter look at my supposed best friend, but I managed.

"What are you doing here Emily? Shouldn't you be at home, preparing pot roast and sprinkling rose petals on your bed or something for your dear husband?"

OK, it wasn't exactly profound, but I was a bit off kilter, right?

The next thing she said really did knock me sideways

"I've left him...I've left Jason" she said, looking up at me and then down at her feet.

"I've left him...and I'm not going back. If you tell me you don't want me...I'll understand. I've let you down, I know, but I'm still not going back..."

Effy brushed past me with her coat in her hand. I hadn't even seen her go to get it.

"You guys need to talk" she said firmly "I'm going over to Sams...I won't be back tonight"

She gripped my elbow as I stared angrily at Emily.

"Play nice, you" She whispered in my ear "I know you're hurting, but let her talk. After that, ...its up to you"

I heard the door slam behind me. Right...talk time then. I looked at Emily, and nodded towards the lounge behind her.

"Shall we?" I said curtly "I think you have something to say?"

I'd be a fucking liar if I said I didn't perv on her arse when she walked in front of me. I might have been furious with her, but my hormones had apparently not received the email. She had an arse to die for...and tits, and eyes...and oh fuck it, there I go again. Keep focused on how shit you've been these past two weeks, I told myself. She can't just walk back in here, looking like a mobile wet dream and expect it all to be forgiven, right?

She sat on the edge of Effy's huge leather couch and waited for me to sit too. I purposefully sat opposite her, on the armchair, only realizing when I'd done it that it gave me a far too explicit view of her tanned thighs...and if she just moved her legs slightly apart, I'd be able to see...Jesus Naomi, any chance of using your brain, instead of your crotch, I scolded myself yet again.

She coughed quietly first, and swallowed a big mouthful of her own wine. She used her tongue to swipe her top lip afterwards, and I swear I almost had a mini there. Fucking hell, how was I gonna stay angry with her when she did things like that?

"I'm going to tell you a bit about what I'm feeling Naomi, and if you want to bite my head off afterwards, thats OK...I understand. I disappeared for two whole weeks, not even giving you the courtesy of a text. You have every right to be angry with me...to hate me..."

"I don't hate you Emily" I said quietly " Maybe it would be easier if I did"

She nodded slowly and her eyes did that quick look away thing, which I already knew was because she was scared.

"I'm glad you don't hate me Naomi...but I don't think you like me very much at the moment, right?"

"I don't like what you did Emily, and I can't pretend that just sitting here, talking it over is gonna change the way I feel. You just fucked off. I'm sorry about Sophia. I had no idea she was going to show up...there's nothing going on there...well, nothing romantic anyway. We have this sort of loose arrangement. She doesn't have any claims on me, or me on her...we just fuck occasionally"

I saw the hurt cross Emilys face and cursed my crudity,

"You don't have to explain yourself to me...You're single, and you can have anyone you like over. I'm the one with baggage. Although I can't pretend it didn't hurt, seeing how she talked to you"

"I'm sorry" I started, but she interrupted.

"No, I have to get this out. Whatever happened that night, we can't change, but I don't want to leave it like that. Ever since I was little, I've tried to be the good twin. My sister was always the rebellious one. She got her first boyfriend at 10' and I don't think a week went by from then on until she got pregnant with little Josh that she didn't have at least two on the go. She was the popular one, the girl who got invited to all the parties, who got first choice of clothes, of presents, of affection from my parents. I was always the quiet one in the background, the one who made up the numbers when my parents wanted to show us off. And then, when I was 15, I met Effy Stonem..."

"Yeah..." I said, looking down at my hands, " she can be a game changer, that one...I don't blame you for falling for her"

"That's not what I meant" she said quickly. " Meeting..or more honestly, being groped by her was a life changing thing, but not in the way you think. She had me, but all it meant, honestly, was that I now knew I was different. All the boys that had kissed me, grabbed my tits and arse at parties, even tried to get into my knickers, just faded into background noise after that, The three minutes I spent with her, against the gym wall were more intense than anything else I had known. I knew she didn't really want me, not in that way, but I knew I wanted more of that. But then Katie introduced me to Jason..."

"And you decided you were straight, after all?"

"**NO**!" she said, blinking back tears, " Not straight...but not brave either...not brave enough to tell my mother I liked girls, not brave enough to disappoint my dad, and definitely not brave enough to risk my sister disowning me. So, stupidly, I thought I'd go along with it all...for now, you know? Just until I met someone...someone like you, who would make me feel I was brave enough to be who I really am. But you weren't there, and the weeks turned to months, and then years. My mother, Katie and most of all, Jason, had my future all mapped out. Marriage, 2.4 kids, barbecues, family holidays, anniversaries, the whole bit. I sleep walked through 5 years of my life..."

Her tears fell onto the black dress unchecked, and I had to force myself not to get up and go to her. I had the feeling that this may have been the first time in her life she was being totally honest, with herself as well as me.

"And then I saw you... at that window...naked to the waist...looking like you owned the world. Gay and proud of it. You chewed up my mother on her talk show, and made her look the bigot she is...and then..."

"And then?" I said gently

"And then, I saw you with that red-headed girl..."

"Jessica" I said

"Is that her name?" Emily said in a distracted voice. I saw her eyes glaze over, and I knew she was replaying my little 'performance' that night..."And you looked so confident, so sure of what you wanted...and although I was really excited, watching you two..."

She looked at me steadily.

"You know I went into the other room and masturbated after, don't you?

I swallowed thickly. Jesus Christ...I'd been a bit distracted at the time, but the thought _had_ occurred to me. Its just, hearing her say that, and having her so close to me made my toes curl.

"But apart from how hot you made me...you also made me incredibly sad. After..I had...you know, sorted myself out...I sat there and cried. I cried for my cowardice, for my failed marriage, but most of all, I cried because there was literally nothing in the world I wouldn't have sacrificed to have been that girl. Not just because making love to you would have been the most wonderful thing...but I saw something in you that made me think I could be different. And then we met...properly... that morning we had coffee ...and it got even scarier, because I realised that I wanted more than just sex with you. I wanted you in my life, in my bed, and in my heart"

"When you're in the same room as me, its like there's no one else there. At that dinner the other night, half the time, I couldn't even tell you what we were eating or drinking. You fill my thoughts day and night...and it scares the hell out of me. When Jason suggested the holiday it sounded like the worst idea ever and at the same time the best thing I could do. Not that there was single minute when I was there that I wasn't wishing I was here, but because you were out of touch...out of reach, I could actually think about you without wanting to run...either towards you or away. I never even considered going on with my lie. I knew I would have to choose when I got back. But I've spent my whole adult life hiding, and its always the safe option"

She took a deep shuddering breath and looked at me with eyes shiny and wet.

"Naomi...I can't ask you to forget how stupid I've been...but if you could start to forgive me, I will promise to try harder. This has been a massive step for me, just walking away from everything safe and familiar. But I want to take that step. But none of it will matter if you tell me we can't work. Can we try...please?"

"Just one question Emily" I said , trying not to give in too quickly. Jesus, I had spent the past couple of weeks thinking about nothing but revenge on this woman, and now, all I could think of was how much I wanted to hold her. " When you were on holiday with Jason...did you screw him?"

I saw the shock on her face as she registered what I'd said.

"Honesty, Emily...thats all I'm asking for "

She looked down at her hands again for a long moment. I wondered if she was considering lying to me. Then she looked back up at me and bit her lip, which was quivering.

"If you're asking if he insisted on his conjugal rights...the answer is yes Naomi..several times"

My heart sank, although I had expected the answer anyway.

"He screwed me" She said hoarsely " Like he's always screwed me. With his eyes closed, as if its a chore, a task he has to complete as fast as possible. I think he thought if he made me pregnant, I would finally be completely under his control. I lied to him about my birth control. I don't want a baby with him. I don't love him. I'm sorry that I've hurt you...and I know by the look on your face that you're disgusted. But thats over now. He'll never have me in his bed again. I promise you"

I sighed and looked away from her. Could I put this behind me? The thought of that oaf with his hands all over Emily made me sick to my stomach. Could I forget that within hours of kissing me...wanting me, she could be naked and compliant underneath him? I really couldn't tell.

"This is hard for me too Emily" I said. "I can't pretend that you haven't hurt me. I don't let people in. It's what I do...what I _am_. People like Sophia and Jessica are easy for me to deal with. Disposable, convenient, transient. They come into my life on my terms. We fuck, then they leave again. No romance, no ties, just sex. I've almost forgotten what its like to let myself really want someone. You're asking me to trust you, when all you've done so far is demonstrate how hard that will be. Can I trust you. I'm a miserable bitch sometimes. I get up grumpy, I drink too much coffee, and I rant and rave in front of the TV whenever one of those Tory wankers appears. I could start an argument in a room with just an armchair for company. Oh, and I snore... apparently. But that last one is from Effy, and she's quite capable of lying through her teeth,, just to annoy me"

"You're making yourself sound very attractive" She smiled "Positively irresistible"

"Is that a yes then?" she said, suddenly serious.

"It's a maybe Emily. That's the best I can offer at the moment. Will you settle for that?"

She answered me by getting up and putting her empty wine glass down. She smoothed her dress over her flat stomach and walked to where I was sitting.

"I believe I owe you a kiss" she breathed, stooping to cup my face in her small hands.

"And I always pay my debts Emily, I said " With interest"

I stood up and took her hand in mine.

"No more talking...no more interruptions... you need to come with me now"

She looked up at me with eyes that glowed with happiness.

"I'll follow wherever you lead Naomi" she whispered " I'm in your hands"

And so she was, for the next two hours.

I'm sure you're gagging for all the lurid details...I knew Effy would be expecting an in depth recap, but neither of you will be getting it. We made love, beautifully, breathlessly and endlessly. She was like someone who had been in a cold cell for years, deprived of warmth and human contact. That first night, she let me make love to her slowly and gently. When she came for the first time, she cried afterwards for minutes. I held her in my arms and let her tears wet my body. She kissed me, face wet and still sobbing.

"Thank you...thank you" She kept saying. Years of emotionless sex had blunted my ability for pillow talk, but I learned it again that night. It wasn't only Emily who was being educated. When she made love to me, she did it with the eyes of a child, full of wonder and delight. She watched me come, her face inches from mine as her fingers explored. We kissed over and over again. I thought I would never tire of her lips. So soft, so forgiving, so eager.

After we exhausted each other in Effys bed, we didn't sleep. I watched her as she stared up at the ornate ceiling.

"Penny for them?" I said gently, brushing a stray lock of that silky hair from her eyes.

"There's no charge Naomi" she smiled " Everything I have is free for you"

I thought my heart would swell so much it would burst out of me.

"I'm crazy about you Fitch...but then you know that, right?"

"I hope so..." she said " Because if I lost you now, I don't know if it would ever be OK for me again"

"Thats not going to happen" I said firmly " We've already gone through enough. I think its our turn for some luck, don't you.

If only we could see the future, we wouldn't make fucking stupid statements like that, would we?

**Comments? Reviews...thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Steamy Windows 5 then**

**For those who prefer a little more drama/smut and less fluff, I would point out that the next instalment of 'Long Road Home' is due into the terminal today. Prepare for smut, violence and...other things. But Steamy Windows is more about discovery and redemption, so read on. My lovely cyber friend Garden-Nomes is _possibly_ trying to engage me in a smut war...involving certain...attachments, so 'Road' may be the vehicle for that particular activity. Never let it be said I shied away from exploring other avenues of orgasmic pleasure involving Naomily and Keffy etc. Just saying ..like!**

**Anyway, enough of that. Read her stuff, it's quite...err...stimulating.**

Naomi

"Sit down' Emily...I don't charge" I said, trying to lighten the suddenly oppressive atmosphere in my apartment. We'd got here just after noon, having given each other any excuse known to man not to get out of bed and face the world again. I knew Effy wouldn't disturb us until much later, but we'd imposed on her hospitality enough, using her place to make up and then endlessly make out with each other. Sooner or later we knew we would have to face Jason and the mega shit storm which was about to hit the proverbial. Emily had cried a bit when I finally stopped making love to her and mentioned getting dressed. Staying in Effy's queen sized bed, wrapped in each others arms and under the cloak of post coital bliss we were in was very tempting, if a bit impractical.

So we reluctantly showered and dressed...separately, otherwise I knew my hands and mouth would be irresistibly drawn to her breasts, her mouth...and other places.

So here we were. Standing in my living room, looking at each other dumbly. We knew that Jason was due back around 2, which gave us less than half an hour.

"Look' Emily" I said, watching her shuffle and fidget herself into a state over facing her soon to be ex husband. "I said I'm fine about coming with you. Nothing he says will change your mind...will it?" The last said with more than a bit of anxiety. Snuggled into bed, with the prospect of more sex and whispered encouragement, it was easier for her to be brave. Now, with the confrontation minutes away, I could understand her fear. It wasn't me who was going to have to overcome years of conditioning. My response to challenge was to challenge back, but Emily was a gentler, kinder creature than me. I imagined her crumbling and giving in when her husband asserted himself, as he probably had every day of their married life. To be perfectly honest, it was a thought that didn't leave me...even when she said she was determined.

"_No_" she said, with just the tiniest wobble in her voice " I have to face him alone. I owe him that much after all this time."

Well, I couldn't really argue with that. If she was going to make the break with limp dick, she was going to have to face down her own demons, as well as his. I just hoped she was as up for it as she wanted to sound.

"OK...so what's the plan?" I said, sitting down at the kitchen table and looking up at her as she stood half in and half out of the room. Quite a fitting metaphor for our relationship so far, I thought. Emily was very much standing on the threshold of something huge and life changing. But did she have the balls to go through with it?

"He'll be home in ten minutes" she said slowly " I'm going to go back now, wait for him to get in, then I'm going to tell him its over between us. I'll tell him I've met someone else...someone who makes me realise I've been living a lie for the past 5 years...someone who has made my world colour and light instead of grey and gloomy. Someone who makes me glad to be alive...someone who.."

"Whoa there..." I said, hiding my stupid grin of happiness at how she was describing me " Maybe you might want to ease back on the heavy handed lesbian compliments. The guy is going to feel like shit already...losing you, without rubbing it in that you've started a love affair with Joan of Arc and Rihanna combined"

We both giggled nervously about that. I was super worried about her ability to withstand the huge amount of guilt and betrayal he was about to lay on her...I guess she was just worried she might flunk the whole thing completely. Anyway, another couple of minutes passed as we tried to avoid the subject, talking about fuck all, then she took a deep breath and looked hard at me before walking over, grabbing me and kissing me almost desperately. It felt far too much like the sort of kiss you give a departing lover at a railway station for my liking, but I forced a supportive smile onto my face.

"I'll be back soon..." she said, voice trembling " I _can_ do this...I really can"

I hoped she was right...and as she walked quickly out of my apartment and closed the door firmly behind her...I did a bit of praying. I'm not overly religious, but I needed all the help I could get.

XXX

An hour later, and I'd used up all my Sunday School memories and there wasn't a square foot of the flat I hadn't paced. It was grim and wet outside, which pretty much reflected my mood as the time went on. How much fucking time does it take to dump your ex? I thought, Admittedly, I had limited experience in that discipline given that my shags usually lasted less than one night, and didn't need much of a post mortem. But an hour? Well, actually nearly 70 minutes now. There was no sign of life in the bedroom opposite, which at least stopped my screaming mind insisting he was shagging her back to heterosexuality. But surely over an hour was excessive for a break up? I decided to give it 5 more minutes and then go over there. He might be holding her against her will, dramatic as it sounds...she might be collapsed on the couch, weeping as he shouted obscenities at her. My mind continued to make up ever more lurid possibilities... Eventually, the clock ticked through that 5 minute period, and I got up. I went to my door and stood in the hall for a few seconds. No raised voices. I went further down the carpeted hallway and walked, more confidently than I felt, towards number 415. As I got closer, the doubts got bigger...she'd told me to stay out of it until she'd finished after all...but I couldn't stop my feet from taking me closer to the apartment Standing right outside, I could hear the low murmur of voices...but not just two voices...it sounded like a fucking convention in there. Suddenly I understood that I'd sent Emily into the lions den single handed. I didn't know who else was in the apartment, but I knew I _needed_ to know...right now.

I raised my hand and knocked hard on the door. The voices stilled immediately and then I heard quick footsteps inside. Sounded like high heels..I thought apropos nothing. The door swung open, and at first I thought Emily had transformed into a leopard print version of herself. A pair of very brown, very angry eyes looked at me as if I had just cancelled Christmas.

"You've got a fucking nerve, dyke" she spat at me... holding the door tightly as she tried to stare me down. "I take it you're the muff munching bitch who has been trying to gay up my fucking sister? Well bad luck..._I'm _here now, and you can kiss goodbye to any plans you had to convert her. You can fuck right off this minute, she's not seeing you. End of..."

I smiled at her venom...she might _look_ a bit like Emily... well, superficially at least, but this was no kind and gentle soul. I knew this must be the much quoted and feared Katie Fitch.

"Actually Katie" I kept the false smile on my face, knowing it would infuriate her. "I was thinking of sticking around for a bit...You see...I think my _girlfriend_ is inside and unless you take that expensive shoe away from the door, I am going to use it to remove the fucking great stick up your arse."

"Move..._now_"

She stared at me as if I had grown another head, and for just a moment, I saw doubt in those 'almost Emily' eyes, she obviously wasn't used to being challenged, but then her mouth turned down in a hard line, and I knew this could get physical at any second. I braced myself for some hands on girl fighting...something I hadn't done since middle school. Just as I started forward, hands raised, to take on Fitch version two, a harsh voice I recognised all too well came from behind Katie.

"If you touch my daughter, or take one more step into this property, I'll have you arrested for assault and trespass"

Cosmic' I thought, Jenna fucking Fitch. Bristols answer to Howard Stern, with smaller tits...

"Good afternoon Jenna" I said in a tight, controlled voice, looking over Katies shoulder at Queen Bitch herself " So _pleasant_ to see you again...burnt any witches at the stake lately?"

"Very funny...Miss Campbell" she almost hissed in reply "But shall we skip the...pleasantries? I want you out of this apartment, and out of my daughters life..right now"

She glared at me with undisguised loathing as her mini me daughter assisted with optical daggers of her own

"I'll go Jenna..." I started, and I saw the flash of triumph in her eyes "When Emily, and no one _but_ Emily, tells me to go. If you're so confident she wants nothing to do with me...fine. Get her out here, and if she tells me to go...I'll go, and never bother any of you again"

I folded my arms and placed one of my red Converses in the doorway, in case darling Katie decided to slam the door in my face.

"That won't be necessary..." Jenna said unpleasantly "She's with her...husband?" This with a snide grin on her face "Trying to save her marriage. Your little twisted fling is over I'm afraid...get used to it"

My heart dropped into my shoes, and I think it showed on my face because both Fitches smirked nastily, but I was determined to hear it from Emily, and no one else. I had no idea how the Sisters Grimm had managed to get here so quickly, but after last night and this morning, I didn't believe that Emily had changed back into that sad little creature of past weeks...she had to see me...didn't she?

"If you're so sure Emily doesn't want to see me..._and_ has gone back to her pathetic little husband, you'll want to rub my nose in it, won't you?" I tried " After all...I'm still her neighbour...he can't keep on giving her third and fourth honeymoons to keep her out of the way, can he...Jenna darling?"

She sneered at me again.

"I have no intention of letting her speak to a...deviant...like you ever again" she spat "We are just about to leave...Emily will be coming with me and Katie to my parents in Scotland for a nice long break. Time enough to get over her...silly little infatuation and time enough for us to find a less...down market...place for her and Jason to live and prepare for the children... when they arrive"

I realised that she wasn't going to let me in, and I doubted whether I could take on the pair of them physically, plus presumably dear Jason, so I decided on a tactical retreat. I had one more ace to play, and I just hoped the person I needed to see was in.

"OK" I said, with a plastered on smile" You win...just tell Emily I'll miss her?"

None of us were convinced by that immediate surrender, but when I took my foot out of the doorway, Katie took the opportunity to slam it in my face. Game over...for now.

I may have moved faster in my life, but I don't remember when. I blew through the fire exit stairs and took three steps at a time down to the second floor...ending up, flustered and red faced outside number 202. I hammered on the door, and it opened immediately. My saviour stood there, blessedly in uniform, presumably ready for a shift. I'd just caught her on the way to her late shift. Angie Walker, one time occupant of my bed ( just the one night, a year ago) It was the night she got confirmation of her job offer and we shared a bottle or two of my best claret in celebration...and ruined at least one pair of my expensive silk thongs. Now she was Police Officer Angela Walker, and on the way back up the stairs, I quickly explained the situation. Luckily, our one night stand had been as casual to her as it was to me. She wanted to celebrate... I wanted to shag a copper in uniform...what can I say..there were handcuffs involved...and stuff... Both our dreams came true that night. Her new girlfriend is a copper too, and she was very happy with Beth so every ones a winner, yeah?. She listened to my story, trying to keep up with me as I bounded up the stairs as quickly as I had come down. Seconds later she was knocking politely...too fucking politely for my liking...on Emily's door.

Again the hum of voices stilled at the knock, and I heard the heels again, and a voice, unmistakeably that of Fitch Mark 2 ring out bitchily.

"If that's that fucking carpet munching dyke again Emily, I'm gonna rearrange her face for her!"

The door swung open and she stood there, fists clenched and murder in her eyes. An expression which changed in a millisecond when she saw Angie.

"Miss...err Fitch...?" Angie said in that monotone cops use to the public..."Miss Emily Fitch?"

Angie knew damned well it wasn't, but she hid it well.

"Err...No...actually, I'm Katie...Emily's inside...she's not feeling too well, so if you'll excuse us?"

Nice try Katie, I thought. Might work once in a thousand times, but I knew Angie too well to think she'd fall for that line. This time a rather sensible size 7 black boot planted itself in the door, preventing it closing on us.

"I'm so sorry..." Angie said, with an entirely unsorry smile on her face "But I do need to speak to Emily personally...so are you going to get her, or am I?"

Katie flashed me a look of pure hatred before a voice came from behind her.

Fucking deja vu, or what, I thought.

"What's the problem, officer" Jenna said, walking to the door and blocking it with her body "As Katie has told you...Emily is having a bit of a lie down. I'd rather she wasn't disturbed"

"I understand completely" Angie smiled, still without removing her boot "So I'll be quick. Miss Campbell here has some concerns about Emily's welfare. I'm sure you understand that I need to see she is OK, before I can let this matter drop?"

Jenna smiled a sickening smile, but her eyes betrayed her seething anger.

"I'm afraid I cannot allow that, officer" she grated, " I'm her mother, you see, and I know what's best for my daughter...now if you'll both excuse us?"

Angie smiled again, but this time there was absolutely no humour in it.

"Your daughter is 23, Mrs Fitch, is that correct?" she said, eyes narrowing.

"That's correct?" Jenna said, crinkling her forehead at the change of topic.

"So, an adult then, able to take her own decisions?" Angie said, pushing past Jenna as she spoke

"Just a minute" Jenna spluttered, turning to follow her. I couldn't resist, I pushed past Katie too and followed them into the lounge.

Emily was sitting on the couch, tissues drenched and crumpled in her hands. Opposite her were Freddie and Jason, both standing up, looking at her like she was a piece of meat. Emily looked like she had shed a gallon of tears. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy and her makeup smeared. On the floor, next to the door were two full suitcases. Someone had been busy packing, I thought grimly.

"Right...Its Emily...yes?" Angie said, with proper warmth in her voice for the first time.

Emily looked up at us, and after smiling at me weakly, turned her head towards Angie and answered her.

"Yes...I'm Emily Fitch" she said hoarsely.

Angie turned to the others and took in them in one sweep,

"I'd like to talk to Emily alone please"

A chorus of no's answered that request...mine amongst them. I wanted to hear what Emily was going to say, but Angie flashed me a look that said 'trust me' so I did. There was no way I was going to stand in the kitchen with the Fitch family, so I went into the hall, and Angie closed the doors behind me and the toxic bitches. I could only faintly hear what was being said, but I heard my name spoken quite a few times, by Angie and Emily. Finally, after 5 minutes, the door to the lounge opened.

Emily and Angie stood there. By the look on Angie's face, she wasn't taken in by any of the bullshit she'd been fed up to now by the Fitch family.

"Emily has asked if she can stay with you until she can find somewhere else to stay. I have to be sure she is safe, Naomi, so can you confirm that's fine with you?"

"More than fine Officer Walker" I smiled primly, "Emily is welcome at my place any-time"

We all knew this was a charade. Not only was Angie an ex of mine, but she had a built in bullshit detector. She and I both knew what was going on. She didn't really need Emily to confirm it, but she was playing the neutral copper right down the line.

Just then, the kitchen door opened and the clan emerged. Jenna's face was a picture, and Katie's wasn't far behind in the pissed off stakes. Funnily enough, Jason just stared at the floor, not at his soon to be ex wife, and made no comment when Jenna and Katie attempted to bluster their way out of what they'd done. I think I'd have fought harder over my wife...

Angie just raised an imperious hand and the hubbub of voices stopped. Emily was now beside me and I placed a comforting arm round her shoulder.

"False imprisonment, attempted kidnap, assault, threats?" Angie intoned. "I think the desk sergeant back at the nick would have a party if I hauled you all back to face what would be a very long list of charges. But I'm not going to. What I _am_ going to do is to warn you all, very firmly, that if Mrs Fitch here suffers any repeat of this bullying and intimidation, I will be back with a few of my colleagues to arrest you on the spot.

You..." and she pointed at Jenna, "Will desist from trying to foist your 5th century attitudes on your daughter Mrs Fitch. Emily is free, white and over 21, which means...in this democracy we live in...that she can choose to live and be with anyone she chooses. OK?"

Jenna just stared back, her mouth set in a grim line. Katie went to speak, but I saw Jenna's hand grip her forearm, and she subsided with just a cold look at me, and Emily.

"Right then" Angie said. "Lets all get on with whatever we were doing before, shall we?"

Emily and I walked out of the flat and back to my door. Angie closed the door to 415 firmly but quietly behind her and caught us up as we were going in.

"Call me old fashioned" she grinned "But I do love putting a homophobe in her place. Good luck Emily. Remember, I'm just down the stairs if this lot" she indicated over her shoulder " start this stuff again. I meant what I said, you're free to decide your own future. Naomi will help you"

I gave Angie a warm smile as she turned and left us to it.

"Well sweetie" I said to Emily "Thats the hard bit done. I think we need a quiet night in, with some hot chocolate and some extremely soppy DVD's, don't you?"

Her million watt smile told me everything I needed to know about Emily Fitches attitude towards that particular suggestion.

**Well, a shorter, fluffier one, because I have about 5000 words of Road to write, and the next chapter of OILZZ...because you asked so nicely!**

**Later?**


	6. Chapter 6

Naomi

The next two weeks passed in a sex filled, heady blur. Emily stayed in my apartment more or less full time, although Effy had held up her end of the little conspiracy by allowing Emily to keep all her stuff there, and making up the spare bedroom as her own. As expected, Emily got a brusque dismissal letter from her job at the radio station... quoting 'gross misconduct' ...a thing I wanted to fight with everything in my being, but Ems wanted to move on, and so I let it slide. She actually got a part time job in the small cafe on the corner, working the late shift, between 7 and 11. Not ideal, but serving tea and sandwiches to workmen and itinerants made her feel useful, and it would do for now...while she was still a bit fragile.

I met her from work most nights. It was only 500 metres away, but I felt better, knowing she was safe. Obviously, with my working hours on the blog, it fitted quite nicely. She came home at night, showered and changed into her night tee. We talked, made love and slept till 11. Then I worked on my project...often with a small, sexy brunette leaning on my shoulder, with her hands in inappropriate places and after some early afternoon sex, we would take in a film or pizza, before she went to work. Weekends were spent in bed, or out in the local bars. I wanted to show off my girl to the world, and despite some...unwanted attention..on occasions from over ambitious local dykes...some of whom (OK, quite a few of whom..) had known me err...carnally, we managed to avoid too many embarrassing moments. She was very nervous about the local 'scene' and I did my protective hen bit if she got overwhelmed. I guess 23 years of being 'straight' were kind of hard to unlearn. Watching your new girlfriend fending off past lovers must have been difficult for her.

And then, one wet and unremarkable Wednesday night...I got a visitor. In fact, that week, I got two unexpected visitors, but the first was definitely less pleasant.

The doorbell rang once, and I went to answer it, not really expecting it to be anyone important. It was just after 8 and as Emily had been at work for over an hour, I knew she couldn't have forgotten anything. I opened the door and then tried to close it again, firmly. It was Freddie, Katie's other half, standing there, quietly smiling. I'd never liked or trusted him, so I wasn't about to start friendly neighbour relations then.

"Fuck off Freddie" I said sourly "She's not here, and nothing you have to say interests me"

He held up his hands in protest and smiled again...it didn't suit him. I remembered his sneer when Angie and I rescued Emily from the bosom of her loving family. This wasn't someone who had Emily's or my, best interests at heart.

"Listen" he said, taking a step back " I'm not here to fight, or to speak to Emily. Jason has gone up to Scotland for a month...Katie and I thought now would be a good time to sort out the practicalities. I mean...we've accepted that you and Emily are an item now. But she's still married...and I'm sure there's stuff she would like to keep, stuff from the flat. Can't we at least be civilized about all this?"

I didn't trust him a fucking inch, but I knew this moment would come eventually. Sooner or later, Emily would have to pack up her old life and start again property. But I would have bet my tits on the fact that it wouldn't be slippery Freddie who would be offering to help.

"So...what's in it for you Freddie" I smiled humourlessly back "You don't strike me as the most obvious person to wish us both well...being such a homophobe and all'''"

He shook his head sadly, in that way people have when they're speaking to someone educationally challenged.

"You've got me all wrong" he said unconvincingly "Jason is my best mate...and Katie is my girlfriend...I just want this all sorted out by the time he gets back...understandably, he's in pieces over losing his wife. He's not in a good place right now...I'm sure you can understand that?"

Well, I could. Despite the fact that I hated his guts, I knew it must be shit...losing Emily, even if she had been treated like the worst possible trophy wife. I shrugged, which was the best he was gonna get as an acknowledgment, and let him in.

We talked for a few minutes about nothing in particular, and then I went with him to Emily's place to pick up a few boxes. I didn't look inside them, I figured if Emily wanted me to see what was hers, she'd show me in her own time. Freddie chattered about something and nothing while we did, and after the last box was in my hall, I waited for him to put it down. Frankly I didn't want to spend any more time in his company than I had to.

"Well...that's it" he said, smiling again " You've done pretty well for yourself Naomi?"

"As in what?" I said, narrowing my eyes at his tone.

"With our little Emily?" He said nastily "Poor old Jason always was out of his depth with that firecracker?"

I didn't like where this was going, and held open the door for him, looking pointedly out into the hall. I wanted him gone, like yesterday.

"All ancient history, Freddie" I said "I have no interest in Emily's sex life before I met her, and I don't much like talking about it with you"

"Course not" he smirked, turning away to walk out of the door...then turned. "She's a fucking mint shag though...isn't she?"

It took a second or two for my brain to register what he'd just said.

"Yeah...she is actually... Not that you'll ever find out" I said trying to front him out, but my face betrayed how much that remark had stung. Ancient history maybe...but it struck home like a heat seeking missile.

"Actually I do know" he grinned triumphantly. "Jason likes to drink too much at Christmas...sooo.. Our sweet little Emily gave me an early Santa's present this year...Does she still make that little sound in the back of her throat when she's coming, by the way hun?"

She fucking did. And now I knew he really had boned her. I felt sick to my stomach.

I could feel the gorge rise up in my throat. He knew he'd got to me. He didn't need to say any more, but I guess he just liked to twist the knife anyway.

"Tell her Freddie said hi" he said nastily "Perhaps she's not quite as gay as you think Naomi... because...she was very.. willing on Christmas Eve.. Twice, if I remember rightly, but I'm sure she'll give you all the details, if you ask nicely"

I slammed the door behind him as he strolled out, chuckling. I just made it to the toilet before my sandwich made an unwelcome reappearance.

I spent the next three hours torturing myself with images of Emily being screwed by Freddie. It didn't make for happy thoughts. By the time I heard her key in the lock, I was boiling. I'd drunk nearly half a bottle of vodka, and an unhappy, drunk Naomi, is not a welcoming sight. She breezed into the kitchen where I was cosying up to another full tumbler of neat spirit. Her smile froze on her face when she saw the look on mine.

"What's happened" she said, her voice cracking "Naomi...baby...what's up?"

"Oh, nothing much..." I said through tight lips "We had a visitor while you were out...a really close friend of yours"

Her face took on that hunted look people get when they know something unpleasant has happened, and they are the last to be let in on it.

"Tell me...please...I mean...who?" She said, her hand visibly trembling as she steadied herself on the opposite kitchen chair back.

"Your husbands best friend Emily... Obviously a much...closer...friend to both of you than I fucking knew?"

Her eyes went really big. I think she knew the game was up...but she stalled for time anyway, and my temper went up another notch.

"What did Freddie want?" She whispered.

"Oh...just to drop off some of your stuff...and to tell me how much he enjoyed screwing you on Christmas Eve...twice apparently?"

My voice was laced with so much venom, I'm slightly surprised she didn't pass out on the spot.

"Oh" she said...her mouth a perfect O.

"What's up' Emily" I grated "Nothing to add...like its not true..., you've got it all wrong... It wasn't like that...you know all those fucking things you say when it's too late to _LIE_?"

She just stared at me helplessly.

"Or did it just slip your mind?" I said coldly "I mean, its easily done. Its Christmas after all...Put up the decorations...defrost the turkey...put your drunk husband to bed...fuck his best friend...and your sisters partner...twice, wasn't it. What happened? The first time not enough?...and there was me thinking you preferred girls all along...silly me. sucking Freddie's dick was all about research, was it...nothing personal"

She was flat out sobbing by then, and her next sentence was broken by weeping.

"I'm so sorry Naomi...I wanted to tell you...but I promise you...it meant nothing" she steadied herself again on the chair...tears falling freely now "Jason was being a complete bastard that night... Katie was at my mums...and I was a quite drunk...Freddie caught me at a vulnerable time...I realised straight afterwards that I'd made a huge mistake..."

I interrupted her garbled explanation.

"Would that be after the first time he fucked you...or the second?" I said bitterly. "Good was it Ems...did he make you come first? ..Or was he more like Jason, quick shag, then finish in your mouth...I think we should be told, after all, you've already told me that's your little specialty?"

"Stop it...please Naomi...it wasn't like that"

I was on a roll now though, and it was almost like a rotten tooth, I had to go on prodding it.

"Come on Ems" I said through gritted teeth " I really, really want to know...did he make you come? He made it very clear you were very... 'willing'... so let's have it _all_...the whole truth...you know...for once in your life?"

She murmured something indistinct.

I thought I had misheard, as she spoke so softly, but I was in no mood to let her off, not now, not tonight

"Sorry?" I said, "You said something?"

"I said...yes..." She whispered.

I stared at her with eyes blind with tears. I'd taunted her and bullied her, and now I was getting the truth, as much as I wished I'd never asked her

"Yes what?" I goaded. I really didn't want to hear this, did I?

"Yes, he _did_ make me come" she whispered fiercely "Is that what you want to hear Naomi? He was fucking good at it...better than my husband has ever been. So good I wanted it again.. straight after...Is that what you wanted to know?...Sad little housewife, husband never satisfies her...so she fucks the brother in law...and he gets her off easily...pathetic, isn't it?"

Again I emptied the contents of my stomach...this time over my sink. The smell of neat vodka made me heave again.

I'd asked for it, and now I had heard it all. I felt like I was drowning.

"I think you'd better go in the morning" I said after I'd swilled out my mouth " I don't even want to look at you anymore. I made a mistake. I wanted honesty from you, and now you've given it to me, I can't bear to be in the same room as you"

"I'm so sorry Naomi...please forgive me" she choked out " It was before we met...before we got together...it meant nothing then and even less now. Please Naomi...don't throw what we have away for something that happened months ago, before I even knew you...before I felt like this about you?"

I rounded on her as she stood, shaking "Do you have any idea how that felt Emily? Hearing that slime bag reveling in telling me how much he enjoyed fucking you? How much _YOU_ enjoyed fucking _HIM_? My girlfriend...the person I have pretty much given up my normal, uncomplicated life for? How much he said you loved it? The little lesbian, forced into an unhappy marriage...who never wanted another man in her life? And you pick _him_, your fucking sisters boyfriend to screw? I don't think we have anything more to say to each other...hun...Go and stay with Effy...if she'll have you...until you find somewhere else to live. Come back if and when you're sure you wouldn't rather fancy a stiff cock on Christmas Eve, instead of mince pie's and me"

She didn't answer, just fled to the bathroom and locked the door. I shut myself in the living room and drank the rest of the vodka.

Next morning, I woke on the couch, stiff, aching and viciously hung over. When I tottered into the bathroom, Emily's stuff was gone. When I'd swilled out my mouth with cold water and managed to stay upright for 10 seconds without heaving, I walked out to the hallway and saw her coat was missing from the hook. Looking blearily at the hall clock, I realised with a shock that it was after 2 in the afternoon. Checking the rest of the apartment, I could see that her clothes were gone. So that's that, I thought, bitterly. Another disappointment in a fucking long line of them. No more love, flowers and rose covered promises for me. From now on its red wine, club nights and random, emotionless shags. Forget the Emily's...I'll take the Jessica's and Sophia's.

The humming of my mobile brought me out of my bitter thoughts. Effy fucking Stonem, I thought. Great.

"Oi" the text read " Earth to fucking Campbell. I have a sobbing and devastated Fitch here. B4 you fuck it up in your kamikaze usual style. Call me. NOW NAOMI"

I texted back, realizing as I did that her text was over 2 hours old.

"Just woke up. Not interested in crying Fitches. Been burned once"

I got an answer in 30 seconds.

"Not interested in excuses. Get your arse over here. Not my job to comfort your gf bitch"

Typical Effy. Not interested in feeble excuses. I texted back a simple OK, and took a long shower. It didn't help my mood, but it cleared my head a little. Two extra strength painkillers helped my head but my stomach still did back-flips when I went down in the lift. The sun was low in the sky, and did nothing to help my aching eyes. By the time I got to Effys, the headache was back, with a vengeance.

I climbed up the 25 steps to her door and used my key to get in. The hallway was dark, but I could see light from the lounge. Effy was a light and dark person in most things. Dark clothing, dark hair, dark eye make up...but her apartment was all about light. The big lounge had two floor to ceiling sash windows out over the square. On the wall opposite the door, the wall carried two huge dance class mirrors, which made the room look twice as big. I squinted my eyes as I walked in. On the long leather couch Effy sprawled, iced tea in hand. No sign of Emily, which I was grateful for.

"OK" she said levelly " Emily has been sent to get some food... You might be able to survive on a diet of vodka and true love, but us mortals need Quatre Stagione with extra garlic bread. My Sams in Germany, which is frankly where I should be...and will be tonight, if I can catch the last Lufthansa flight. But first I've got to sort this shit, because obviously left to yourselves, you'll fuck it up royally...as per.."

She blew a stream of pale smoke from her spliff towards the open window.

"So...Nasty Freddie turns up...taunts you with his one off history lesson about nailing Little Fitch...and you go off the deep end, calling her a slut...and all points west...Am I there or thereabouts? "

I gritted my teeth. No, that wasn't a fair appraisal of the situation, and I wasn't about to let it lie there.

"She fucking _Iied_ to me Effy?" I tried.

"Not strictly true Naoms. If we all had to recite our sins in chronological order before starting a new relationship, both of us would have to stay single forever...Do you even know the full names of the last two women you fucked?"

"That's not the point!" I said hotly "Can you imagine how I felt... having that fucker licking his lips over screwing Emily just a couple of months ago. She made herself out to be this downtrodden housewife, chained to the sink, with a dick-wad of a husband, who never satisfied her. Turns out she's been playing hide the Christmas sausage with her own sisters boyfriend. Classy huh?"

"Careful with that indignation Naoms... Don't let your anger fuck up something good over a random shag months ago, even if it was with Freddie Kruger.."

I let my true fears surface then...I didn't mean to, but Effy has a way of teasing out what you're actually feeling without trying.

"He made her fucking _come_ Eff" I shouted " The closet lesbian, who hated sex with guys got off being fucked by her sisters boyfriend!...I don't even know how to begin to deal with that"

"So thats what's this really about Naoms?" Effy looked at me quizzically "The fact that he shagged her...and obviously got a buzz at your extreme reaction to the news...or the fact that given enough friction in the right anatomical place, a perfectly healthy twenty something female had an orgasm whilst she was being penetrated. It might come as a bit of a shock babes, but if I tied you down and sat on your face to distract you, being shagged by George Osborne might actually do the trick eventually, She probably closed her eyes and thought of Katie Perry...I know I have occasionally"

I had to grin at that, even if I was still burning. She was right that we all use...the imagination...occasionally. But fuck it... I still felt betrayed, no matter how unreasonable Effy made it sound.

"Look" she said in that far too placid voice "I suggest you go now, before she gets back. Punish her for a while... I get that. But don't blow the whole thing out of the water before you've started. Go on...fuck off now. I'll mark her card, and then you can have a sickening amount of make up sex when you finally forgive her. I've got a flight to catch in two hours. Be a good girl and disappear, huh?

So I did...and it was good advice...trouble is my next unexpected visitor made the whole thing a bit redundant...

XXX

I left Effy to it and went back to my apartment. I deleted the 6 texts and three voice mails I had from Emily. I was still way too pissed about her revelations. Effy might have been right about my over reaction, but I had way too much indignation to process yet.

The tap at my door was hard and brisk. I knew it wouldn't be Freddie. Even his knock was slimy and sly. Whoever it was wasn't creeping about. I almost laughed when I opened my door to the second unexpected visitor in 36 hours. Fucking Cosmic...Katie Fucking Fitch.

She stood in the doorway, regarding me with those dark eyes. As always, she was immaculately made up. Her hair was up this time, in a neat bun, and she was wearing what I suppose you would call a power suit in navy silk. Any other time, being faced with a fit girl in very sexy business wear would have made me make grabby hands and cross my legs a bit. But this was Katie Fitch...sister to my probably ex girlfriend, and now known to be the innocent party to her boyfriends recent betrayal. I now knew things about her relationship I wish I didn't. She didn't, of course, which was probably why she was looking at me as if she had discovered mould growing behind by her kettle.

"Emily in?"she said brusquely" I need to talk to her?"

"Sorry Katie" I said, trying not very successfully to keep the dislike out of my voice " She's out...but I'll be sure to let her know you called"

"Any chance of waiting for her?" She said with a frankly sickly smile.

I nearly fainted with surprise

"Are you sure you'll be safe...you know, locked in a flat with a known deviant Katie...I mean, you might catch the lesbian bug and leave here with an unstoppable urge to shag Billie Piper...don't laugh...it has happened"

She had the grace to smirk at that.

"I think its more likely Billie Piper would be lusting after me Campbell" she snarled "But she'd be wasting her time..I prefer my sex with some nice hard gristle...you don't have the equipment, I'm afraid"

"Never say never miss Fitch" I smiled "better women than you have left here confirmed muff munchers"

I couldn't believe myself..I was actually having a conversation... A fucking flirty conversation with my arch nemesis... Well her understudy anyway. Emily wasn't even here. But I felt like needling someone, and as Freddie had successfully got under my skin yesterday, I made the decision...which turned out to be a very bad decision, to invite her in. I thought I'd just torment her for a while, then turf her out when I got bored...

Best laid plans, huh?

An hour later, and half a bottle of my best vanilla vodka, we were actually having a civilized conversation. Of course, we had mostly avoided the Emily shaped elephant in the room, but once we'd verbally circled each other a few times, and she dropped her 'fuck you, dyke' persona, I've had worse conversations. But it had to end...I mean, she was there for a reason, and after Freddie's little bombshell, I was on my guard.

"So Katie..." I said slowly, filling her glass again and trying, mostly unsuccessfully to keep my eyes off her impressive cleavage " Are you gonna tell anytime soon why you're really here? If you wanted to talk to Emily... there's a little invention called the mobile phone? Oh, and just so you know, she's not coming back tonight anyway...she's staying at Effys"

"Oh..." She said "Your first argument?"

I considered giving her the truth about why Emily wasn't here. Freddie richly deserved some payback, but I bit my tongue, at least for the time being. Better to save that bit of ammunition for when it would do the most damage.

"Something like that Katie...so are you gonna spill?"

She put her head back and laughed. Giving me the opportunity to watch how those firm tits jiggled. I swallowed a bigger than necessary mouthful of vodka to give myself something else to do...she was rather... distracting at times. Its your girlfriends sister, I reminded myself yet again.

"OK...cards on the table" she smirked, and her eyes registered amusement at my open perving. I'm guessing this Fitch twin was a lot more used to open admiration than mine.

"I know you think I'm a carbon copy of my mother...all last century prejudice , fire and brimstone... but my only concern is Emily. Being twins is a bit special... We spent the first 16 years of our lives doing everything together. Then I discovered boys... and Emily... well, let's just say she didn't. I knew she was different, not interested in the same things as me. Trouble was, our parents thought we were two parts of a whole. Just because I was boy crazy, they thought Emily would be the same. But she wasn't, and she isn't now, I know she's been unhappy for ages...but she would never admit the marriage was a mistake"

Katie paused and took a big mouthful of vodka.

"So to answer your question...I'm here because I care about her..and I'm worried she's jumping from one bad relationship straight into another. You understand?"

I nodded " Yeah..."

"Personally, I have no idea why she prefers muff to dick...I mean, it must be a sad substitute.. but whatever" She said, twisting her mouth downwards

"Don't knock it till you've tried it Katie" I said, grinning "Like I said...a few straight girls have left here with a smile on their faces...and most of them were as sure as you at the beginning of the night...too scared to take a chancel are we?"

"Fuck off Campbell...wrong twin" she growled, but I've got used to spotting the signs...there was more than a hint of doubt in those big brown eyes. Blame the vodka, blame the residual bitterness in my heart...blame my libido...whatever... I leaned closer to her as we sat on the couch..right into her personal space. She was wearing some subtle scent, musk and sandalwood... It was very...stimulating.

"What are you scared of Katie..." I breathed "That you'd like it too much?"

"Stop it Naomi" she said in a low voice " This isn't funny...I'm not...fucking _gay_"

But when my lips grazed hers, she stopped talking and froze. Now I've seduced my share of reluctant virgins, but this was different. She was no innocent, but there was something about the way her eyes were locked on mine..the way her hand gripped the back of mine when I reached up and cupped her cheek. She was terrified and fascinated at the same time. I kissed her slowly, feeling her lips part as it went on. I put my glass down and took hers from her too. She just stared at me while I did it. It was crazy. The air around us almost crackled with tension. When did it get so serious, I thought.

"Please..." she said in a small whisper

"Please what Katie..." I answered, reaching for one of the big blue buttons on the front of her suit jacket. Now I was this close, I could see she was just wearing underwear underneath the top...a lacy edged purple silk bra. And she filled it out beautifully. My mouth went dry.

"Please don't..." She whispered " I'm not...I mean I've never..."

"Shhh" I breathed "There's nothing to be frightened of" l leaned closer and put my mouth to her ear. She was gripping my hand, which was still on the button, really tightly. Like if she let go, she would be swept away, and never found again.

I felt her flinch as my breath swept her ear "Katie...I'm going to do everything to you now...everything you have ever been terrified of discovering. Let go of my hand...because I want to see your body...before I start to touch you...to make love to you, to make you come...Katie Fitch"

I felt her shiver as if she had a fever.

"I...I can't" she said hoarsely " I can't let go"

"Why not Katie" I smiled, reaching out with my tongue and circling her earlobe delicately. If she had shivered before...now she shook and trembled.

"Because if you touch me...there" she gasped, as I slid my palm slowly up her smooth thigh, towards her short skirt " I won't be able to stop you.. I won't want to..."

The last word was accompanied by a moan, as my fingers teased the inside of her thighs at the very top...my fingers felt the edge of matching lacy knickers. Almost imperceptibly, her legs opened to my stroking... I kissed her again, and this time she kissed back..hard, searching, hungry. This was no Emily, nervous, uncertain, unsure...this was Katie.

I sucked the pulse point on her neck and her thighs relaxed completely...I took my hands away from her legs and took both hers in mine.

"Take it off" I said simply, staring at her suit. She looked at me with eyes that had lost focus.

"Yes..." She said distractedly " yes...OK...I'll take it...off"

I watched her unbutton the jacket and slip it off her shoulders. Her breasts were encased in purple silk...no bargain store underwear here...these were expensive, designer brand. I took her hand, which was shaking slightly as she looked up at me, and drew her to her feet.

"Now the skirt" I whispered " You're so fucking gorgeous Katie, you'll look even better naked"

I saw her hesitate...so I drew my shirt over my own head and dropped my trackie bottoms off. Her eyes flashed over my body, like someone who had never seen a half naked woman before. I don't wear a bra indoors, so my tits bounced perkily in front of her. Always been my best feature.

"The skirt?" I reminded her

Her hands went to the side of the skirt, and I heard the sound of a zip moving. In a second, the material joined mine in a jumbled puddle on the carpet. I took her small hand in mine, and led her silently into my bedroom.

When we got to the bed, she turned and faced me...uncertainty clear on her face.

"I've never...I mean I don't know how to..." She said slowly... "I mean..."

"Shhh Katie..." I said again " You do know...you've always known..."

Her mouth twitched in a small, soon vanished smile. She knew... They all knew in the end..

I closed the gap between us and she gasped again at the contact of her skin on mine.

I reached behind her as I kissed her hungrily. Her arms came up and fingers gripped my shoulders as I unclipped the expensive bra. When the silk fell away from between us, our nipples touched and grazed each other. This time it was her tongue that hunted for mine. I teased and lapped at her mouth, sliding my hand between us and cupping her sex...she was hot and wet already, and her groan when I slid an inquiring finger up and down her knickers told me everything I needed to know about how much she wanted this.

I had a small moment of doubt, as I pushed her back onto the bed, so she was sitting on the end. This was my girlfriends 'straight' sister...why was I doing this?

But just at that moment, she licked her lips as I hooked my knickers in my thumbs and dropped them to the floor. A universal sign that she wanted this at least as much as I did. It was wrong..I know that...it was unfaithful...I know that too. But my anger at what her boyfriend had told me, and my distrust of Emily still nagged at me. I could have stopped then, could have backed away, got dressed and put it all down to the vodka and Katie's perfect tits. But who was I kidding. She might be straight 95% of the time... But now, naked and waiting on my bed...she wasn't straight at all now.

I stood in front of her and looked down at her face as she stared at my body.

I gave her one last chance to back out. Actually it wasn't for her...it was for me. I knew once I was on that bed, naked with her...there was no going back. She had a magnificent body...and I was never going to stop until I had her moaning and thrashing underneath me...but I asked her again anyway.

"Are you sure?" I said quietly

"Not in the fucking least" she said huskily " But if you think you're gonna get me this worked up, and then leave me hanging Campbell... you don't know me at all. You're a lesbian...so do filthy lesbian things to me...right now"

So I did. All the years of diligent learning used in one sex filled two hour period. I kissed her...she kissed me back. I sucked on her gloriously excited nipples, she played with mine. When my finger slid inside her to the knuckle, she bucked wildly and dragged her long nails across my back. When I eventually dropped my head between her legs and tasted her for the first time, she pulled my hair so hard, I thought it would come out in clumps. When she came...noisily, writhing... screaming obscenities, she called out my name. My tongue and fingers buried inside her, I watched her come down slowly, shaking and muscles quivering. I thought she might baulk when I tried to kiss her afterwards, but she kissed back eagerly, tasting herself on my lips and tongue. Minutes later, she slid down my body and pulled my legs over her shoulders aggressively.

"Are you sure Katie...you don't have to?..." I said, seeing her eyes looking between my legs warily.

"Make the most of it" she growled "You're never gonna see, or feel this again. Its a one time, single offer deal"

And then she covered my wetness with her mouth. For a straight girl, she wasn't bad actually. What she lacked in experience, she made up for with enthusiasm. When I came, equally as loudly as her...I didn't call out her name, but I left my own nail marks on her neck.

After, as we laid there, sweat cooling on our bodies, it was me who panicked about what we'd done.

"I'm sorry" I said shakily..."I didn't mean to..."

"Oh fuck off Campbell, she said briskly. "It was quite hot, actually. I think I need you to give Freddie lessons in geography...he's not bad...for a guy... But I think you have him beat in the cunnilingus stakes"

Fuck...that was the last name I wanted to hear right now.

"You won't tell anyone, will you...Don't tell Emily" I said weakly..."She wouldn't..."

"Calm the fuck down Naomi" Katie spat, although, as she sat up and regarded me, her brown eyes sparkled with wry amusement "Isn't it me who's supposes to be freaking out right now...not the big bad lezzer?"

"We'll just put this down to booze...and an itch I've never scratched before. I'm hardly likely to broadcast the fact that I've just screwed my sisters girlfriend, am I?"

We got dressed like two strangers, backs to each other on either side of the bed. She spent 10 minutes in my en suite, and when she came out, the old Katie was back. She looked immaculate. Makeup restored, hair repaired and dressed impeccably. I don't know how she achieved that transformation, but let's just say I haven't perfected it quite yet...

"Right" she smiled grimly "Much as I've enjoyed our ...evening...Naomi. It hasn't solved our problem, has it? I still need to talk to Emily...and don't worry...she's not gonna be kidnapped and browbeaten by me any more. That's my mother's territory. But I need to clear the air with her. Phone her later, and tell her I'll meet her for coffee tomorrow lunchtime. Silvio's in Park Street...noon, OK?"

I nodded dumbly... What else was I gonna do?

"Well" she said.." Its been...fun. I'd say we should do this again...but I'd be lying. We won't. Just file it away under 'Lezzer moments to wank over when the fanny is thin on the ground' OK?"

Even I had to chuckle at that. Life was getting more bizarre by the day...

**OK guys. I am ready for the brickbats. I have a helmet and body armour and I'm not afraid to use them.**

**The good news (?) is that I have another 3000 words written on 'Long Road Home' My shameless requests for feedback and reviews has exceeded anything I hoped for. So you can look forward to a chapter or two shortly. Thank you for sticking with me. It means a lot. I can now reward you with lots of lovely smut...laced with drama and angst...just the way you like it? **


	7. Chapter 7

**OK guys...straight off, this _isn't_ a new chapter...but it's to let you know that there _will_ BE another few chapters. I know I flounced a bit after all the negative feedback, but I've decided to follow my heart and finish it. It was never gonna be an opus like Long Road Home, but it has another two, maybe three long chapters left. The Kaomi thing obviously left some of you cold, and I can understand that...although I've always thought it an interesting proposition...they're more similar than different to each other. Ones a closed off commitment phobe, the other uses dicks as a measure of her own popularity. They're both slightly damaged goods, and I thought it had possibilities. The other thought that was going round my mind was remembering that, originally, when they were casting the 2nd Gen 3rd series, BE toyed with the idea of having Megan Prescott play Emily...now _that_ would have been interesting? Remember, in real life, Kat is the slightly older, more confident twin...hmmm?**

**Anyway. Some of the comments I got hurt, but you guys have the _right_ to say what you think, even if it is that I resemble Jess Britain (that REALLY fucking hurt!) in sticking to my guns despite adverse comment. Well that's not quite true. Jess Brittain isn't a screen writer, any more than I am...but she wrote something cruel, shallow and which had no discernible connection to 'our' girls or the original Skins, including Effy. I hope my characterizations aren't quite so clumsy, fake or mean. Obviously all us FF writers weave fantastic stories ( I mean that in the wacky sense, not that my _writing_ is fantastic) but we normally put a great deal of the real Naomily into our stories, they just sometimes do strange things!**

**What I'm trying, very clumsily, to say, is that 'this' Naomi is behaving just as I saw her doing at the beginning. As one very perceptive reviewer said (thanks hun), very accurately 'this' Naomi is a _PLAYER_... Her stock reaction to being burned, even if she was being totally over sensitive about Emily enjoying some 'hide the sausage' moments with Freddie before they got it on, would be to go and shag someone else, just because she _could_. Its her abuse substance of choice... mindless sex with someone shallow. The fact that it was with Katie is the deal breaker, I suppose. **

**If we could all analyze what we do in advance, and see all the unpleasant consequences, we would live strange, anodyne existences...and TV programmes like East Enders and Hollyoaks wouldn't exist. Soap characters do the most awful things to each other, and two weeks later, get married...closely followed by sleeping with said partners sister, daughter, mother et al! But that doesn't stop us watching it, does it? **

**So...Naomi has been hurt, even if it was ancient history...Emily's gone off to Effys to lick her wounds, and now Katie Fucking Fitch is in the house! **

**Next day, Naomi is gonna go into total guilt mode, because Emily's not just a random shag...and nor is Katie. Katie will probably just brush it off, until the next time she has an unsatisfying shag...coz her standards are gonna be higher than poor Emsy's...aren't they? Freddie may be able to impress a woman who's husband thinks that swallowing wallpaper paste is erotic, but a real player like Katie has just been fucked royally by an expert, even if it was another woman...I can see a bit of residual wish fulfillment coming up...just NOT with Effy, because that would be almost as tired a cliche as having Eff become a stockbroker, and like...shag her boss to get promoted and then shit on her 'best friend' when she's dying and all... Remind you of anyone? I wonder how Jess is getting on with those new scripts for children's TV?**

**But we know that all actions have reactions, so no one is about to get off scot free after the Kaomi shagfest. Naomi has to deal with her new found conscience, Emily has to decide if coming out as a lesbian at long last, is worth all the grief (OK, err..._Emily_? Take it from me.. Its _totally_ worth it...in your case, you will get to shag Naomi Campbell nightly...tell me again what the downside to waking up next to THAT every morning is?)**

**No doubt Katie will have to deal with her own demons, mainly her nasty, dick waving partner (oh, I do love casting Freddie as a bad guy...so much nicer than bashing him with a bat...right Jamie/Bryan?) But he'll get his...don't you worry...pissing off Katie is one thing..but he'll have both Fitches and Naomi..'mobile thrower'..Campbell to deal with at the same time. Time to visit Doctor Foster, Fred's.. It'll be less painful in the long run. lol.**

**Right, so I hope I've put some things straight. I'm not expecting to convert any one who hated the idea of a cheating Kaomi episode, but for the others...including my infallibly supportive and funny _garden-nomes_..this next chapters for you guys. I'll do a proper thanks to everyone later, when I've written the next sexually deviant chapter...Maybe they'll have an orgy with Mandy, Sophia ( or maybe not Sophia..she's kinda...dead, and I've never quite got over Naomi coming out with "I fucked the dead girl"...necrophilia is _WRONG_ Naoms!) and possibly Lara as a side salad...coz no way could JJ tap _that_ properly. **

**I've never written an orgy...and now I'm thinking Caligula... Rome...HBO...no just kidding! Hahaha.**

**Later then...or in this case, this Saturday night, just before I'm unleashed on the public with unsuitable heels, that new backless dress I've never had the courage to wear out, and maybe a bit of _Ebeneezer_ to make my inhibitions disappear...yeah, that's likely...not.**

**Later then?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Next chapter of the 'very mixed reaction' (lol) story called Steamy Windows then. If one off Kaomi isn't your thing, you've probably already given up on this, so hopefully, its only the brave and adventurous that are still with me. I won't comment on the feedback except to say thanks to all for your thoughts. Good or bad, its all useful stuff. Isn't it curious though that most of the more..._pointed_ comments...are always anonymous?**

**On then...?**

_There is a **warning** for this chapter. Suicidal thoughts and actions. Life isn't getting any easier for Naomi after her little... indiscretion. Sad times indeed._

Naomi

The phone rang at least 10 times before I heard anyone answer.

"Hello?"

"Mum?"

"Bloody hell...can that be my seldom heard from, permanently grumpy daughter? To what do I owe this rare privilege?"

"Fuck off mum...the sarcasm can wait? I need to talk to you"

"So who is she" she said simply " because..."

"Because what?" I said curtly, thereby confirming my bloody smartarse mother's description of me in one. She was right, I rarely called her, and when I did, I was usually in a foul mood.

"Because, a: its 9.30 in the morning, a time you rarely are conscious to observe, b; you never call me to ask about the cat, or how my organic radishes are doing, and c: whenever you do call in the morning, it inevitably involves a woman...and because you are such a closed off, prickly little cow...it means its about a woman who's somehow got in under the Campbell radar and made you feel vulnerable...Now, is that an accurate summary, or am I actually turning into the dopy lentil saving cow you always thought I was?"

Bitch.

"OK...you got me" I admitted through gritted teeth "Its about a woman...shes called Emily...and I've fucked things up..like, really badly"

"Is she special?" My mum said, with her usual unerring ability to cut through my bullshit.

"She could have been" I said miserably

"That bad?" she answered, a bit more sympathetically "Most things are fixable... if you both want to fix it. What happened?"

"Well..." I started "Short version...We met...She left her husband for me...we spent an amazing two weeks together...I really thought she was 'the one'...you know...then her sisters boyfriend took great pleasure in telling me she'd screwed him last Christmas...and so I screamed at her and threw her out...and then...I kind of...slept with someone else...sort of as payback"

"I take it that her little indiscretion with her sisters boyfriend was before you two got together?" my mum said slowly

"Yeah..." I grunted " Well before...months" I started to realise where this conversation was going.

The line went silent as my mum processed my latest fuck up.

"Sometimes you exceed even my ability to understand the enigma that is Naomi Campbell" she eventually said crisply "Since when has ancient history, no matter how shocking, been a reason to dump someone? I know it's painful...finding out that your new lover has a past...but Jesus, Naomi...pot and kettle isn't really in it with you, is it? "

"How many times have I stood at my doorstep these past 5 years, telling lies to a tearful girl about your whereabouts whilst you sat on the stairs, pretending to be out?"

"I know...I know" I said bleakly

"And this person...you've slept with in revenge?...it wasn't just someone you picked up in a pub or something, was it?"

Fuck...my mothers ability to nail me on the grim details had never waned. I knew it would come to this, so I took a deep breath and confessed. But I didn't think 5 Hail Marys and two Our Fathers was gonna cut it this time.

"I shagged her bloody sister" I said hoarsely. No point in fucking about. Truth.

This time there was a long pause, then the sound of held breath being exhaled slowly.

"Ooh Kay..." She said deliberately " And you called me to...?"

"To give me some fucking advice mum!" I yelled, totally unfairly, I know.

"Tell you what Naomi?" My mum said briskly "How about you grow a fucking pair, for once in your life? Own up to what you've done...pray to God that she's a far better person than you apparently are...and ask her to forgive you. I'm really disappointed in you Naomi...we might disagree on most things, but I thought I'd taught you the one thing that you couldn't ignore after you left home. Be honest with yourself. If she's this special, give her the truth, and let her deal with that truth in whatever way she feels is best. If you get dumped...well, you've given her every excuse to do it. If she takes you back...then I'm only going to ask one thing in return for this free advice?,

"And that is?" I said sadly...I couldn't argue with a single word...and didn't.

"Bring her round here afterwards. If she's that special...I need to meet this... Emily?"

Hanging up after a few desultory bits of gossip later, I looked out of the window at the empty flat opposite. Life had suddenly got a lot more complicated. I didn't believe for a second that Emily would forgive my little encounter with Katie. But my mum was right about at least one thing, apart from the obvious. Emily was special... and maybe I needed to at least give her the chance to prove it.

I thumbed a short text to her number. It was brutally to the point. I had to let her know about Katie's lunch date, but then I needed to talk to her.

"Emily. Katie wants 2 meet u at 12... Silvio's. Its cool, she doesn't want to argue. Then u and I need 2 talk. 2 pm at Effys?"

I waited about 10 minutes for the reply. I'd deliberately kept to the point...and no kisses or anything else personal. Finally, just when I was getting ready to phone instead, an answering text arrived.

"K...CU at 2 xx Emily"

Oh well, I thought... If Katie spilled the beans about our nookie last night, I would be walking into a shit storm at 2. But even if she kept her word, and didn't...it was only a temporary reprieve. Life just kept on getting by better at Chez Campbell...

Three hours later, I was letting myself into Effys apartment just after 2. I could hear the soft sound of Mumford & Sons coming from the lounge, and braced myself for what was coming. No point in sugaring the pill... I just needed to get this out.

When I opened the door, I nearly had a fucking heart attack. Not one, but two petite Fitches looked up at me from the couch. One very pretty, dressed in a red silk suit with a white top underneath... The other, even prettier, even with the red rimmed eyes...in a simple yellow plaid shirt and skinnies. No prizes for guessing which was which.

"Naomi" Katie said briskly " I'm just off then, Ems?...I think maybe you two need to talk?"

And with that, she stood, smoothed down her already immaculate suit and picked up her matching bag. She looked at me with an unreadable expression as she passed, but otherwise, I got no clues from her about what had been said on their sisterly lunch. But she certainly hadn't told Emily about what we'd got up to last night, that's for sure.

Emily looked up at me from under those fucking Bambi eyelashes and flushed slightly.

"You can sit down Naomi?" she almost whispered " This is your friends place, after all"

I sat beside her, close enough to talk, but not enough to touch. I was having enough trouble keeping my hands still, I think if she'd touched me, I might have collapsed in a puddle. Being this close to her...smelling her delicate Emily smell, was playing havoc with my senses.

"I'm sorry...", we both started, then looked at each other like strangers being introduced at a formal dinner party. When did being with her get so fucking difficult?

"You first..." she said, fiddling with her hands and doing that adorable look and duck thing she did with her eyes. I guess 23 years of obedient compliance is kind of hard to unlearn. I felt even more of a shit than I already did.

"I'm sorry Emily..." I started, doing my own bit of nervous fiddling with my fingers "About lots of things. First, I totally overreacted about that..._thing_...you had with Freddie last year. It happened before we even met, so I have no excuse for going off at you like that. I suppose I just hated that it was him who told me...licking his fucking lips... like he'd gatecrashed my birthday party or something"

She looked at me with shiny, huge eyes, and if I thought I'd felt bad before... I knew that I was about to make things infinitely worse.

"But that's not all..." I said as she opened her mouth to say...I don't know what. Knowing her, something forgiving and noble. I couldn't stand it any longer...I had to get something out...something that would stop her looking at me like I was the victim here.

"I slept with someone else" I said brutally " Last night...to get my own back on you...and that's why I'm really, really sorry...because you deserve so much better than that"

The look on her face made my heart thump and my stomach freeze into a cold, twisted knot. She looked like I had slapped her. The colour drained from her face...and her lip trembled. I felt like I'd killed her kitten.

"Oh" she said quietly..."Right"

We stared at each other in silence for what seemed to be hours, but was probably not more than 30 seconds.

"I'm so sorry Emily..." I said hoarsely " I fucked up...I wanted to get the thought of you with him...out of my mind...and so I..."

"And so you went out and _fucked_ some random tart...just to make you feel better?" She said brokenly.

I could have told her then. I _should_ have told her then. That it wasn't just some random tart...not just a Jessica or a Sophia...but the person who had been sitting next to her moments before, her own sister. But I couldn't. Watching her tear stained, crushed expression...I couldn't turn the knife even more. She felt betrayed by what I'd done already, and she had every right to feel that way.

I had no excuse, none at all. Finding out your new lover has a past is painful...even though its irrational. But finding out that the person you've invested your trust in...the person you've left your whole life behind for...has betrayed you with the one living soul who you never believed would hurt you like that...would be devastating.

Part of me was screaming to tell her everything now, while I still had the courage to do it...but the majority of my cowardly, self preserving heart was telling me to stop now. Screwing another woman was bad enough. Telling her it was her straight sister would destroy her, and I couldn't do it.

"Yeah" I whispered "Someone anonymous...disposable... Someone who couldn't reach me...like you reached me"

I started to stand up. Her head was bowed, and she was staring at her restless hands as they wrung and rubbed each other red.

"I'll go now Emily" I said softly "I think I've hurt you enough"

Her head came up and I swallowed a sob as I saw the tears still brimming in those big brown eyes.

"Yes, I think you have Naomi" she nodded "I need to be on my own now, if you don't mind"

I walked to the door and turned just as I got to the hall door.

"For what its worth, Emily...I'm not only sorry, I'm devastated too. I never meant to hurt you. I've never been the jealous type... but then, you seem to make me break all my rules. I don't do commitment... I don't do monogamy... "

My voice dropped to a whisper

"But you? You frighten the shit out of me. I feel helpless when I'm with you.. And that's something that terrifies me. I don't blame you for being angry...but..."

"...But you thought the best way of dealing with how you feel about me was to screw some random against the walk of a scabby club?" She said bitterly.

If only, I thought... If only it was a frantic finger fuck against a club wall. It was so much worse than that. In my minds eye, I could see Katie's smooth skin, her mouth open, watching me with hot, eager eyes as I orally pleasured her last night. No, this wasn't a drug fueled, random shag with a stranger. Her sister might have been willing... but I was the real offender here...

"Goodbye Emily" I said brokenly " I know you can't forgive me...but I'm truly sorry, so fucking sorry"

She nodded bleakly and bowed her head as I left. The sound of Effys door closing was like the ending of something huge. I could hear Emily sobbing as I left, and by the time I got to the bottom of the iron staircase..I was crying too.

XXX

The next few days were a vacant blur to me. I went home, I did all the mechanical, mundane things you do when you're trying to keep your mind off something awful. I cleaned, I stripped the bed and washed it of any trace of Katie and remembered sex...I tried to work on my blog, but the words just looked like keyboard mash to me. I slammed the lid of my laptop and didn't look at it again for 36 hours. I didn't drink, I didn't sleep much, I just looked out of the window a lot at the empty room opposite and brooded.

I got precisely three phone calls during that time. My mum, asking if Emily had forgiven me... That was obviously a short call. She hadn't. One from Katie, pretty much asking the same thing. Same answer, and one from my best friend? It wasn't the happiest conversation I have ever had. She rung just as I was going to bed, just after 11, which is another patented Stonem trait. Always catch your victim off guard.

"So..." she started " even in the history of monumental Campbell fuck ups...this one was a pearl, wasn't it hun?"

No hello, how are you... But then she never wasted words.

"I know it" I said miserably. "Emily won't even talk to me"

"Have you tried?" Effy said

"Only seven calls and about a hundred texts?" I croaked. My voice seemed to have deserted me along with my pride and my girlfriend.

"Shagging that random seems to have been a bit pricey...considering what you've risked?" she said.

"It wasn't a random..." I admitted...I might not have been able to bring myself to tell Emily who I'd spent the night with, but I wasn't about to try to fool Effy Stonem.

"So who?" She asked quietly.

"Her sister" I whispered. It sounded worse every time I said it out loud. There was a long, uncomfortable silence before Effy said anything. The longer it went on, the more I squirmed.

"Say something?" I said eventually.

I heard a sigh and then she let me have it...both barrels.

"Sometimes...when I think about things, Naomi...I wonder how we ever stayed friends?" she started. Jesus, this was gonna be bad, I thought miserably.

"I've stuck by you through your '_I don't know if I'm actually gay_' period...right through our own little mini fucked up relationship. I've watched you break hearts and bruise egos and I thought it was all worth it. Because I believed underneath all that brittle bullshit, there was a decent human being, who was just struggling to understand herself. I thought this time, with Emily, you'd found the person who would make you be honest with yourself. But no... Not only do you work her over because of some nasty little shit who was just trying to belittle her...you cap that by sleeping with the one person she would have trusted most of her life. So congratulations, you've not just fucked up something which could have changed your life. You've done something which might never, ever be fixable in her eyes"

She paused, and I realised that I was crying silently. She'd never spoken to me like this in all the years we'd been friends.

"I would say I'm disappointed in you Naomi...but that's way too mild a way of putting it. I'm coming home tomorrow. Sam's staying out here for another week. When I get back, my priority is going to be trying to keep that poor girl sane. She must be lonely, scared and totally devastated. I take it you've told her about this?"

"N...no..." I said..." I've told her I slept with someone else...just not who it was"

"Coward to the last then..." She said sadly " Oh well...maybe that's best. I'm sure her sister won't be rushing to confess. But let me be straight with you Naomi. I'm so disappointed in you, I don't think I want to see or hear from you for a while...maybe a _long_ while. Keep away from my place...if not for my sake...at least give Emily a chance to grieve?"

How do you answer that? In 24 hours, I'd lost my girlfriend and the respect of my mother and my best friend. Not bad going, even for me.

The next two weeks didn't register much either. After 3 days of crying, I wasn't up to visitors...which was just as well, because I didn't get any. I started to see how empty my life had been up to meeting Emily. I'd kidded myself that being alone was what I preferred, but it turned out that wasn't what I wanted at all. I worked on my blog, met my deadlines for articles and answered phone calls as if I was back to normal. But it wasn't close to being true. The only call I wanted didn't come.

After 7 days of self imposed isolation, I gave in and called Effy. Emily was still ignoring my texts and messages, and I was just about going crazy not knowing how she was.

It was a short conversation...not big on pleasantries. She answered me as if I was canvassing for her vote. I asked how Emily was...and she just said "Healing" I asked if I could come round...and she said "Probably not a good idea"

It was all a bit brutal, really...but no more than I deserved.

Another week went past. The number of unanswered texts and messages I had sent to Emily now reached three figures. I started drinking again. Not red wine...or port...but neat tequila. Half a bottle at night guaranteed oblivion. The hangovers were ferocious, but the family sized packs of paracetamol kept them at bay...

Finally, I decided I had to do something. Something tangible. I started to send flowers. Not just a few flowers...but bouquet after bouquet... I think the local florist thought I had lost my mind...which of course I had. Roses, lilies, carnations...you name it. All addressed to Emily Fitch c/o 35 Victoria Square, Clifton, Bristol. In the end, after I spent over £100 on a stupidly ornate bunch with more greenery than Kew Gardens attached for good measure, I got a call from Effy.

"Not that we...(and I burned in the flames of resentment at that sly 'we') don't appreciate the effort and money you're putting into winning her back Naoms...but we're starting to suffer petal fatigue here. Sam's back now...and she's a bit hay feverish...maybe you could send pizza next time? "

Bitch.

Still no response to my efforts. I started to despair. Maybe it was time to give up. Not even a single reply. I phoned my mum again...this time at a more socially acceptable 6 in the evening.

"Mum..." I said wearily " she won't see me, or talk to me...I'm not sure she ever will now. I know its a liberty, asking for your help, but I think I need to get away for a bit...is there any chance of asking Kieran if his brothers apartment in Cyprus is free for next week?"

" I think you're in luck Naomi" she said, still managing to sound like she was pleased with me, even though I knew that was far from true. "Kieran was talking to Brendan this afternoon, and he was moaning about the recession playing havoc with his bookings. Why don't you give me 10 minutes...I'll speak to him and see if you can book a week?"

And then she landed the sucker punch.

"Emily's still not talking to you then? ...Maybe its time to get on with your life honey. Sometimes when you stop trying so hard, it stops hurting so much"

"But I love her mum" I said weakly, and then stopped to listen to the echoes of what I'd just said bounce of the walls of my flat. I loved her? And then it all did come crashing down around me.

I fucking did love her, and I'd never told her that simple thing. I'd been so wrapped up in trying to get her just to talk to me that I'd forgotten the most important thing of all...

"I fucking love her...OK?"

"Oh" my mum said " Well that's different...That's the first time I've heard you utter those words in the whole 24 years you've been on this earth. Maybe you need to tell her that?"

"Yeah...I mean yes.?." I mumbled " maybe I do. Thanks mum?"

And so I did. The next text I sent her was just those three words, in capitals.

_I LOVE YOU_

Silence

So I sent it again

Silence

And again

Silence

And again...and again and again, until I was tapping the words without even looking.

Finally, after half an hour and at least the majority of my text allowance had been used up, I got an answer.

"_Its easy to say Naomi_"

"_Not for me_"

"_Its not fair...just saying it. You have to mean it"_

"_I've never said that to any human being in my life before. But I'm saying it to you now because its true.. Can we talk?"_

"_Effy and me are going to a party tonight. Maybe we could talk tomorrow?"_

Oh...I thought... That's not good. Emily Fitch, newly outed lesbian...going to the sort of party Effy Stonem would go to? I felt jealousy surge through me like a cold, toxic river. I didn't know what sort of game Effy was playing, taking Emily to a party, but I know I hated the idea.

I couldn't help it. My fingers tapped out the message before my brain could say no.

"_A party?...now I'm jealous. I know I don't have the right...but I am"_

This time there was a five minute delay before the answer came. It hurt.

"_Don't confuse me with you Naomi, Casual sex is your thing, not mine"_

There really wasn't any answer to that, so I didn't try. No way was I gonna throw Freddie into the conversation.

I spent that night, like several others that week inside a tequila bottle. My imagination conjured up lurid images of Emily in a crowd of drunk admirers of both sexes. Imagined her being flattered, touched, joked with, and finally cornered by a persistent hot dyke. I remembered how easy it was for that to work. I'd got a cupboard full of memories of just that scenario, only I was the persistent dyke. There weren't many times I had failed once I'd set my sights on a willing victim. And I knew Effy would be of no help whatsoever. Once her and Sam had dived into their ever present drug goodie bag, they would only be thinking of finding a horizontal surface to act out their fantasies on. Emily would be on her own.

Eventually I did sleep...at about half past two. The tequila bottle was empty and so was my brain. I didn't come round until after 11 the next morning. There were three messages on my phone.

Mum : _Kieran says its fine for Friday. You need to book your flight today though._

OK mum...

Effy : _Great party last night...Emily had lots of fun, quite the centre of attention .. ;P_

Fucking bitch...

Emily :_ Silvio's at 2? _

Oh God, I thought immediately. She's going to finish it...

I spent half an hour online, booking a LyingAir flight to Paphos and going through the bullshit process of ignoring the £10 headline cost and adding 'peripherals' that made the price £120 return...I mean, really? And then I phoned my mum and thanked her. Her surprise at my thanks was only slightly obvious...Then I texted Effy a one line response.

"_Thanks. I really needed to know that. Not finished twisting the knife yet?_"

Then I spent half an hour in the shower, and another half an hour getting ready. I might be going down, but at least I could look as if I didn't give a fuck...couldn't I? I put on my tightest black skinnies, because back in the days when Emily cared about what I wore, she had told me I looked good in them. Usually not for long, because she wanted them off more than on...but you get the picture, huh?

I put on my thinnest, lightest bra, so that when I pulled on the new white top I was going to wear under my leather bomber, it would show off my tits...another one of Emily's faves...back then...

It all seemed a lifetime ago, when she was taking baby steps, learning to be up front about her desires...I stifled a small catch in my throat as I realised it could still have been like that. I could be dressing to meet her for a normal lunch, instead of heading for the cold hard fact of our breakup. I squirted some Issy under my neck, although I doubted she would be getting close enough to appreciate it. Ten minutes later, I was standing outside Silvio's, steeling myself to go in.

The moment I saw her...all my bold resolutions about being brave...being strong...just being Naomi, seemed to desert me. She looked fabulous. Dressed in a simple summer dress in pale blue, she was already catching everyone's eye. From the waiter who was hovering over her shoulder, supposedly taking her wine order, but simultaneously letting his eyes rake her cleavage, to the man having lunch with his wife opposite, who seemed to be by having trouble concentrating on what his partner was saying. I called myself a cunt for the 247,000 time.

I swallowed nervously. She looked poised, confident...serene. A million miles from the shy little housewife who I'd rescued from a loveless marriage less than a month ago. Who was I kidding here? She might have needed me then, but now...with her new found confidence, and no doubt my fucking best friends sly help, probably a choice of potential partners to choose from. I've no doubt I was an alluring alternative when the only option was her limp dicked ex, but now? Suddenly my lame attempt to dress to impress spelled _fail._..

I walked towards her with what I hoped was a confident step. She looked up from the menu when I got within 3 feet of her and smiled. Not the sort of smile she used to give me...all adoring and open. No, this was the sort of smile you reserve for acquaintances, helpful doormen and distant relatives. My heart sunk even lower in my chest.

"Hi Emily" i said croakily "How are you?"

She smiled again, slightly warmer this time

"Great" she said, in that husky tone...a tone which I had heard in different...more intimate circumstances.

I sat down and watched her, still concentrating on the fucking menu. I could feel my feet tapping under the table manically, but i couldn't seem to stop them.

"Look..." I started " Emily...?"

She looked up at me brightly and interrupted.

"I thought we'd start with the gnocchi...Effy says its really good in here?"

I stared at her pretty face as she waited for me to answer. I didn't care if the fucking gnocchi came with gold leaves...i could feel my emotions starting to bubble up inside me..."

"Emily...please?" I said, begging her with my eyes.

She put down the menu with a small sigh, and dismissed the hovering waiter with an apologetic smile.

"What is it you're so desperate to say Naomi?" She said "That you're sorry? I think we covered that...That you fucked up? Thats pretty clear too. That you want things to go back to the way they were?...I think thats going to be a bit difficult now..don't you?"

I sat there, listening to her dissect all my hopes, like a surgeon with the worlds sharpest scalpel. I looked down at my hands and saw that I was rubbing them together without any control.

"I...I..." I mumbled " I don't know Emily...I just know that I don't want to lose you. I know I've been a complete cunt...and i know you're going to find it really hard to forgive me...but I'm here to find out if you'll at least try...?"

She sighed again, and looked down at where my hands were trying to win a wringing competition. Finally she reached out and stopped the movement with her cool fingers. I actually shuddered at the contact. First time we'd touched in an ice age.

"Look Naomi..." She said quietly...pausing as the fucking annoying waiter fussed around, putting rough cut bread and olive oil on the table. I favoured him with one of my best 'fuck off creep' stares, and he eventually prised his eyes off Emily's tits and left, giving our joined hands a reproachful last glance.

"At the moment...I don't know how I feel about you... About us. But I want you to stop tearing yourself apart over it...I need more time?"

"Easier said than done" I mumbled, before taking her hand in mine. " Can we at least try again?" I said, hating how weak I sounded.

"That's not giving me time...is it Naomi?" She said in a kind but non committal tone " I said I needed to think things through. We got together in a rush...and I haven't really had the chance to be on my own...to be myself, before I jump straight back into a relationship...with anyone"

I didn't think my heart could sink any lower, but apparently, there were places it could go, lower than the Marianas Trench.

"So this is it...?" I said, my voice breaking over the last word. "Thanks, but no thanks...Its not you, its me...?"

She looked away from me before gripping my hands in hers and holding my gaze with her beautiful brown eyes.

"I didn't say that..." She began...but without any of that warmth she used to, before...

"I'm no good without you, Ems" I pleaded. "I used to be someone else...someone strong...someone who didn't need anyone to complete me. But you've changed me...and I don't think I can go back to being that person any more...Can we just go out somewhere...tonight...just the two of us...like we should have at the beginning...I mean like a date or something?"

She looked away again, and this time let go of my hands.

"I...I..have a date already, actually" she said slowly...and all my dreams and hopes collapsed in that moment. I was right to be worried about that party...One night out with Effy, and someone had pounced. She'd been pulled by the first hot dyke who'd spotted her on her own. It really was too late then.

My eyes filled with hot, stinging tears...and I felt the first one draw its shallow meandering line on my makeup.

"Oh..." I said, uselessly

"Its just a new friend...just a drink, you know...nothing..." She started, but it was too late for me to start rowing back from the emotional storm that was engulfing me. I'd lost her. It was all too late. I knew that with certainty. There was no way back

"OK" I whispered, realizing that I was just embarrassing her now. People were starting to notice this weird, weeping woman, not having lunch in the restaurant. Time to go, I thought.

"I'm leaving now Emily" I said, swallowing a treacherous sob which threatened to disable me completely "This was a mistake...I'm sorry for embarrassing you. It doesn't matter now... But before I go...know this at least"

She looked at me steadily, her expression as unreadable as her sisters had been before. I could see that there were more similarities than differences in these twins. There was steel beneath the softness.

"I wasn't lying. I do love you. I'm sorry you don't believe me, and now...now I don't know who I am, or what I'm for ...without you. Enjoy your date tonight...with...your new friend? I won't bother you again"

I was gabbling now, and before I collapsed in a soggy crumpled mess, I made a bolt for it.

"Goodbye Emily" I managed

I stood up shakily, trying to wipe my eyes at the same time as trying to keep my balance...it didn't make for a dignified exit. She watched me with sad eyes...but didn't say a word. I suppose there wasn't anything to add, was there?

I don't remember the walk home. I remember my phone ringing constantly... Whether it was my mother...Effy or someone else ...unimportant ..it didn't really register...it wouldn't be Emily, and that's all that mattered. When I got home I threw it onto my bed and ignored the buzzing. After a while it stopped.

At about 7, I woke up from a restless doze on my couch and staggered to the kitchen. It was all fucked. I'd lost Emily...I'd lost my best friend...and even my mother thought I was a lost cause. What did I have really? A fucking lame blog read by a few thousand desperate dykes...a flat with a hundred thousand outstanding on it to a blood sucking bank...and a reputation as a hard drinking, hard loving loner, with the emotional range of a toaster.

Not much to leave as a legacy was it?

It started as a tiny irritating germ...a little nagging thought in the back of my swirling aching brain. Who was I kidding? Emily had woken feelings in me that I thought I'd crushed years ago. I fucking hated this stomach churning, helpless maze I was wandering inside. And so, after half a dozen large shots of single malt whisky and a whole lot of crying and self hating...I went to the bathroom cabinet...took out those sleeping tablets that fucking idiot locum had prescribed me last year when I had a short bout of insomnia...and sat on the couch, looking at the packet. Such a simple solution, why hadn't I thought of it before?

I giggled stupidly to myself as I looked at the bubble package. 16 tablets...little white, innocent looking tablets...I poured myself another slug of 30 year old Highland Park, and swallowed it slowly, savouring the heavy, peaty sting, I would miss this at least..my mouth was starting to numb anyway...so the first three pills went down easily, tablet, swallow, tablet, swallow...tablet.. After that, it was all too simple really, I cut out the crap, pressed all the others out into a pile in my hand and did them in one . In a minute or so, after I'd drained my glass for the last time, I sat back in the chair and looked up at the ceiling... Now it was done.

Not long, I reckoned...a half hour tops, and the pain would be gone...Gradually the room started to distort. Solid shapes began to slide and ripple, and my vision narrowed to a small dark tunnel. My feet started to tingle and numb... It crept up my thighs slowly, like a lovers caress...The glass slipped from my hand and landed with a heavy clunk on the parquet wood beside the white rug. I opened my eyes for the last time and sighed. It all seemed so pointless really...life? Time to let go.

**And so...we leave it there. If you hated me for Kaomi...I'm guessing your hunting out the shotguns now. But I have a plan, a plot and an ending schemed out. Review? **

XXX


	9. Chapter 9

**Naomi and the jagged little pills.**

**You didn't think I'd leave you hanging with THAT sort of cliffhanger did you?**

Naomi

"_You stupid, selfish little cow...I fucking hate you_"

These are not words I enjoy waking up to..Even my frequent and transient one night stands usually exit with a bit more decorum. My head felt like the entire Bristol Rovers team had used it as a practice ball for training, and my throat ached as though I'd just auditioned for Deep Throat 3. The voice in the background wavered slightly, as if it was going into another room for a break, but as I slowly surfaced again from my soft and comforting unconscious state, I could hear it start up again.

"How could you even _think_ of doing that...you're my best friend, you stupid cunt"

Oh...right...Effy Stonem then.

I tried to open one eye, but it felt like it was glued shut. I had more luck with the second one, but the shaft of artificial light which jabbed my brain viciously when I did made it feel like a very bad decision.

Another, male voice joined in from the other side of me.

"I think she's waking up" he said

"When she does, I'm going to kill her" the Effy voice snarled

"Seems a bit harsh" the man said amiably, and I realised it was Kieran. No mistaking the Dublin drawl "I think her mother might have some thoughts on that missy. We damn near lost her last night"

"Yeah, well..she deserves all the shit coming to her for frightening everyone like that"

"I think you'll find she wasn't trying to frighten anyone Elizabeth..." Another voice intruded on my addled brain "I've just spoken to the doctor...he says she took enough pills to kill herself twice over. This wasn't some cry for help...she wanted to do it...to get rid of herself"

The last couple of words were broken and pain filled, and now I added guilt to my little pot of mixed emotions.

"Mum?" I said hoarsely and opened my eyes , grimacing at the harsh light and the pain from the gummy shit glueing my lashes together.

"Naomi?" I heard, and then got crushed in an entirely over the top parental hug. "You silly, silly girl...how could you even think about doing that... If Effy hadn't come over...you'd be..." Again the broken sob and I sighed as she crushed me again.

"Mum...can't breathe...?" I squeaked as she went for the third knockout hug.

"Oh...sorry... " she finally laughed nervously. "Just got you back with us, now I'm throttling you"

"S'ok" I said in a voice somewhere south of Grace Jones " water?"

My throat was on fire, and I didn't have enough spit in my mouth to say any more. Not that conversation was gonna be my favourite activity today. Today...I mused silently. There weren't meant to _be_ any more today's. Suddenly, the reason I was here sunk in, and I had a flashback from Silvio's, Emily...right. Still fucked then, basically.

When my mum finally put me back on the plumped up pillows, and I'd swallowed a mouthful of tepid hospital water...I rubbed my stuck eye clear and stared at the group surrounding my bed. My mum and Kieran were on one side, looking as though they hadn't had the benefit of how ever many hours drugged sleep I had, and Effy sat, arms folded, like she didn't trust herself not to begin swinging at me.

"Eff?" I said painfully and she glared at me some more. "I thought you didn't want to see me again...like maybe forever?... Why did you stop me...would of solved a lot of problems in one go...yeah?"

I know it was harsh, but I wanted to know. I hadn't seen her for weeks. All through my Emily wallowing, my drunken self loathing, she had stayed clear. Now she rode up on her fucking white charger and saved me...saved me from what... And _for_ what?

She regarded me with cold blue eyes, but I stared back just as hard.

"Well...?" I said..." If you're gonna kill me...you could have saved yourself the trouble and let me peg it back in the flat...what's changed?"

I heard my mum and Kieran draw breath sharply. They'd witnessed quite a few violent confrontations between Eff and me over the years, but I suspect that this was a whole new level for them.

"I don't want to kill you..." She said eventually, breaking the eye dueling for a moment "I just want to...oh **fuck** it...come here you big stupid dyke"

And with that, I saw something I've never seen in nearly 10 years of knowing Effy Stonem. I saw actual tears. She wrapped me in a hug as hard as my mother had given me, but with about 70 pounds less body weight behind it. She cried into my neck and whispered fiercely into my ear.

"I only came to your place by accident. I was supposed to be somewhere else...if I hadn't had this weird..feeling about you...you'd be..._dead_ now..and I...I would have hated myself for the rest of my life...and don't even get me started on...Emily..." She choked before going on...

"Don't you ever do anything like that again Campbell...I was so fucking scared I nearly pissed myself. Nothing... and I mean _nothing_ is so bad you have to do that. How do you think I would have carried on if you'd actually died? I've been punishing you over the stupid thing you did with Katie and Emily... but Naoms...its _us_...its me and you...I would have forgiven you sooner or later...I always fucking do"

She squeezed me again, this time not so hard I struggled to breathe.

"OK...OK..?" I said, when she finally released me. " I get it...you think I'm a twat...but you love me...right?"

She nodded and wiped her eyes. My mum handed her a handkerchief... Because well, its Effy Stonem..she wouldn't have any use for one normally...would she?

"Right..." My mum and Kieran said at once, a habit they have been getting into which is frankly creepy. I swear they'll be wearing matching fair isle jumpers soon..."We'll just let your other little visitor know you're awake"

My heart leapt at that sentence, and I looked over at Effy, but she was shaking her head. Not Emily then...my heart resumed its default position...in my shoes, except I wasn't wearing any.

"She's not here" she said..."but..."

I turned my head away as my oblivious mum and step dad exited the room... Couldn't even be bothered to turn up on my death bed, I thought? Nice.

Effy tapped me on the shoulder as I faced away from her.

"It's not what you think" she said slowly

"What else is there to think Eff?" I whispered brokenly "Can't even be bothered to turn up to see what a fucking pathetic mess I've got into over her?"

"I suppose she's too busy making new 'friends' ...friends that you made good and sure she met to keep her mind off me"

I couldn't stop my voice betraying my bitterness

"No...friends who are trying to put her back together again after this little stunt" a hard and instantly recognizable new voice came from the doorway. Katie fucking Fitch...wonderful, I thought. A perfect ending. Kill me now.

"It wasn't a stunt Katie" I said bleakly "And I know she's moved on now...I just thought she might care enough to see how I am, pathetic, I know?"

Her eyes softened a little, and just for a moment, I saw her sisters softer, gentler look, before KFF was back.

"Of course she _cares_, you daft cow..Do you think she would keep away for that reason? She didn't come back this morning after being here _all night_ because she thought you wouldn't want to see her. Fuck knows why she's even considering taking you back... You're not even that good a shag honey..."

Effy interrupted that painful line of conversation, much to my gratitude. I knew Katie was lying about how good I was in the sack...but it wasn't something I wanted to dwell on, post suicide attempt, as it were.

"I think we both know that's a crock Katie..." She smirked.." I've been in Naomi's bed too, and there aren't a lot of complaints in her guest book. But this isn't the time...Stop gloating and give her the good news?"

Katie gave me one last hard stare before speaking.

"Last chance saloon for you Campbell" she grunted " Fuck knows why, but my sister is in bits at the thought of you shuffling off this mortal...so make yourself presentable...if that's even possible?... Although that hospital gown is frankly a step up from your normal rent a dyke outfits. I'm gonna phone Ems now...she's at your place, probably wearing a hole in your carpet, waiting for news about Mrs Lazarus come back from the dead"

Effys throaty chuckle made me start to laugh, until the ache from my no doubt stomach pumped throat made me cough like a 50 a day sailor.

"She's coming to see me?" I said dumbly..." But I thought...?"

"The things you don't know about Emily, Campbell...would fill a fucking library... Which is why I've had to take the day off work. Instead of meeting a gorgeous Italian guy in a posh restaurant for lunch.. I've had to settle for a soggy sandwich and dishwater coffee. I'll just add that to the list of things to hate you over. Like I said, you need to look presentable...because I'm phoning her _now_"

And with that, she turned on her expensive heel, and marched out of my room. Effy and I exchanged a look which didn't need words, but she said them anyway.

"I'm _never_ gonna refer to this again..so don't worry...but I just want to say I can totally understand why you'd want to tap that...she's fucking hot in a sort of death camp commandant kind of way" Effy smirked...raising one eyebrow "Like a female Ralph Fiennes with spectacular tits"

"D'ya think she'd let me jump her...purely for research purposes, of course?"

"Fuck off Eff!" I said hotly... "One of us twisting in purgatory for nailing her is enough, don't you think? Sam would murder the pair of you and bury your bodies in the woods"

She nodded sadly and then grinned.

"Point taken...anyway... Let's get you decent for Fitch number two"

"Has she really forgiven me Eff?" I said as my best friend fussed over me, tidying my unruly hair and applying some much needed repair work on my face.

"She's getting there..." Effy said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear."I think she's realised now that she's punished you enough...that little stunt about a date last night was sort of my idea...she hadn't been pulled...not for lack of trying at that party...they were round her like flies at a jam convention...but she isn't really interested in anyone else. But you hurt her...badly...with your so called random shag. I think you need to make it clear that your past is your past...and it needs to stay there. Her past is something else you'll have to deal with. Whatever nasty Freddie tells you...I have no doubt she's 100% gay...and that she loves you. But you both need to do some rebuilding. Take it slow...be honest with each other...well apart from revealing all about the little indiscretion with Katie...and I think you'll be fine"

I don't think I've ever heard Effy make a longer statement.

"But its such a huge thing...sleeping with her sister...can we be together, while I have this guilty secret inside me?"

"Well, the alternative is to tell her...ruin the relationship for ever, and at the same time drive a wedge between her and Katie which might never go. You've done a stupid, selfish thing... You'll have to live with that. But sometimes secrets are better kept. Katie certainly isn't gonna spill.. Up to you, but if I were you...I'd thank Christ you've got through this...and look forwards, not back"

There's not much you can say to that.. So I didn't try. After Effy had got me sitting up properly, hair brushed and face washed, she left me to go talk to the doctors. Apparently I had to have a psych analysis before they'd discharge me. Normal procedure or some such bollocks. I wanted to argue about it, but both my mum and Effy said it was non negotiable. No psych doc, no discharge. So I agreed. The head doctor wouldn't be around until 5, so I had a while to wait. Time enough for me to get into a full on flap about Emily coming to see me. I had no idea what I was supposed to say to her. I knew what I was definitely not going to say to her..as in "_Hi Emily...by the way, the random I shagged_ _was your twin sister_" but apart from that...I was stuck for words, which anyone who knew me for more than a microsecond would have disputed under torture.

Well...anyway...after 20 minutes of fretting, worrying and just plain bricking it...the door squeaked open...and there she stood.

She looked fabulous, of course. I'd grown used to being more than blown over by her natural beauty, but here, now, in this white and sterile hospital side ward, she took my breath away all over again. She was wearing a short floaty pink and white print summer dress, with white spaghetti straps and just enough creamy cleavage to tease...rather than the sort of neckline Katie went for...you know, the 'almost nipple cover' plunge. Subtle but sexy...you could sum up Emily in that one short phrase. Her eyes were made up, but I could see she had been crying a bit. That small tinge of red puffiness. Almost as bad as my red and black panda eyes.

"Hi..." She said quietly...and her bottom lip wobbled a bit. "Oh Naomi...how _could_ you...?"

I was getting used to that phrase by now...but it still hurt.. Hearing her say it.

"I'm sorry..." I said, fresh tears blurring my vision and spoiling completely Effys rescue job from earlier " I never meant to..."

I never finished the sentence, because she threw herself onto the bed and hugged me just as fiercely as Eff and my mum had done earlier.

"Don't you ever..._ever_...do anything like that again" she said fiercely in my ear " I thought I'd lost you...you stupid...selfish...crazy...wonderful woman" The last few words punctuated with kisses to my neck, my cheek and finally my lips. I almost did that fucking textbook swoon when I finally felt her soft, inviting lips on mine at last. I wondered briefly how I had actually survived these weeks without the taste of her in my mouth. The kiss lengthened and it was only a polite cough from the doorway which prevented it from not going on for hours.

"Errr...excuse me...Earth to love boat? Time to rejoin the remainder of humanity guys?"

Effy, of course, balancing three huge cups of Starbucks lattes in her hand.

"You'll need to keep your strength up Naoms, if you're going to make out until you're discharged"

"Fuck off Stonem" I said amiably " you always did know how to kill a romantic moment"

"I'm crushed" she said mockingly, putting the cardboard cups down on the side table. "This from the last of the great romantics"

I didn't answer that...mainly because of the ripple of laughter which we all indulged in after she spoke.

Emily snuggled in beside me, dropping her bag to the floor and tipping off her shoes with her toes.

"Seriously though Naoms..." Ems said, looking at us both in turn " you frightened me so much. I never thought you would...do _that_...I didn't mean for that to happen...I was just..."

I felt a mixture of emotions go through me. Guilt, shame, remorse and happiness at her presence all battled for dominance. She must have seen me struggling to speak, because she hugged me again, and suddenly the world seemed to settle back on its axis.

"Right..." She said slowly..." Let's get you out if here...home, with me. I think we need to do some talking...and this time, we're both going to do some listening too"

I nodded silently and held on to her hand while she kissed me again. I still felt physically as if someone had been playing handball with my brain...but Emily was here, holding onto me as if she was frightened I'd disappear. The world suddenly seemed a nicer, warmer place already.

**And so...we have probably have one more long chapter left. The story is reaching the place I intended it to be at this stage. Next one up is fluffy, smutty in the extreme, and a bit of a counterpoint to the first one. I've enjoyed this journey, and I hope that at least some of you have too. I have a whole new story planned, alongside the last two or three chapters of Long Road and an occasional update to OILZZ, which was always going to be short and smutty. I still have Long White Cloud on the back burner, but this new story will be different. For a start, Katie will be the confirmed dyke...with Emily a bit more unsure about the girl thing...lol**

**XXX**


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